Far From You
by Rem-sama
Summary: After living in America for over a year, Mai is still plagued by doubts of why she left. The gang decide to visit, but there's something they don't know. Someone has been haunting Mai...someone who gets obsessed with her, and jealous of Jounouchi. MaiJou
1. Longest December

**Intro/December**

There is a darkness locked in everyone's heart. It's that sneaky, quiet voice telling you that the prank you've pulled isn't _so_ nasty, you're not right until you have the last word, revenge is sweet, that pit in your stomach has nothing to do with your guilt, and somehow everything is always your fault so you might as well not try to change things from what they are. It's only when the darkness completely eclipses the light, even for a second, that we are suddenly aware of the absence of light and hope in our hearts. By then the damage has been done and it's too late to pretend.

I'd like to offer my story to you, from one lost soul to another. You may find it a lesson, some salvage from forgotten faith, or just a meaningless compilation of someone's pitiful life down a crooked road. I, myself, don't really know. One could only know after hearing.

So come on, sit right down. Comfortable? Take your time because I'm going to take mine. Ready? Okay, here we go…

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December came to New York City like a ferocious wolf in sheepskin. The days started off pleasant with the exception of winds that nipped at your flesh like the claws of a cat. As the day wore on overcast skies blocked out the sun. It seemed decent enough until mid-afternoon came around and the winds were bitter enough to freeze your fingers off. This was exactly the time I had to brave the outside and take the subway to work. Even the frozen, dead air found its way down into those dark tunnels. Everyone was a snowman; pale and emotionless with stick-like legs and arms that rubbed against themselves for warmth. The hobos at the stations were collecting newspapers and stuffing them greedily down into their beer-stained sweaters. Their eyes were like the skies: a grayness that covered up a terrible light hiding behind them.

I walked into _Antonio's Pizzeria_ just as a drizzling rain began to come down. The smell of dampness was met with mushrooms, cheese, and avocado. The glass windows were fogged with condensation, but no one else was around to see it. And a good thing, too! I look terrible. My blonde hair's clinging to my skull and I can't feel my fingertips. It's like I'm numb all over.

"Hey, Kujaku! Is that you?" I heard a voice come from the back of the kitchen. I took my time hanging my coat up on the silver hooks by the office. Even if it wasn't snowing outside, I'd have that coat on in public because of the stupid uniforms they make us wear at this shack. Stupid uniforms, stupid job. Damn stupid payroll, too.

The ovens were on and starting to radiate a hell of heat that warmed me up quickly. I went around passed the ovens and the dough kneading counter to where Antonio was standing above the sinks. He was a huge man with a beard barely poking out of his blubbery chin. He always had this strong smell of pepperoni that passed through me stronger than a hit to the head.

"Kujaku!" he barked when he saw me. The scowl on his face was demonic with his beady eyes and three-inch thick eyebrows. I rolled my eyes.

"What is it?" I asked.

"What is it?!" he shouted. Good thing we're in the back of the kitchen otherwise he'd drive any incoming customers away. "What is it?! You're half an hour late! You didn't even show up for work yesterday! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"I told you, I couldn't make it yesterday!"

"Couldn't make it! Couldn't make it?!" Antonio was always repeating things you said to him. It got on my nerves something awful. Hell if I was gonna tell him I was out job-hunting again yesterday. God knows I need to get out of this stupid hole.

"Listen Kujaku, you miss one more day of work and you're fired! Ya hear me? Fired! Gone! Expired!"

Yah, yah, he's been saying that for weeks.

"You think I'm kidding?!" he remarked when I rolled my eyes again. He was fired up. Little blue veins were starting to protrude out of his forehead. "Fine! This is the last straw! You're––!"

The chink of bells from the front door stopped him short. We both looked over to see a guy walk in with a musty dampness clinging to him. I looked back at Antonio. The veins in his forehead slowly began to recede and he swallowed his anger down. His Adam's bowling-ball bobbed up and down quickly.

"Go take his order," he said.

When I came to the back to tell him the order (I took the orders, balanced the drawers, and made a few deliveries while Antonio made the pizzas. It was a small shop and there was rarely more than the two of us working a shift) he said I had one more chance to keep the job. I told him whatever. I got out at seven thirty. Antonio made me stay an hour later than usual to make up for missing yesterday. He probably won't pay me for it either, the bastard.

I took the subway back home again to my apartment. Its a couple odd blocks away from the Empire State Building. There isn't that great of a view (unless you love looking at the concrete wall of the next building over) but I never have the windows open anyway so it doesn't matter. Yesterday was payday, so half of my paycheck has already gone to paying my rent…which I am behind on. Again. The rest of the money I get to use for food, subway fare, and other stuff like that. When all that is done I'll have $3 left over total for savings. Again. Some "land of opportunity" America was.

Yeah, sometimes I really wish I was still in Japan… things were so much simpler back then. I had my convertible, there was a new duel monsters tournament every couple months or so I could kick butt at, and I was surrounded by my friends. Yugi and Anzu…and Jou…

"Don't start," I scolded myself, reaching into my purse for my keys. If I leave myself alone with my thoughts too much, I swear I'd go crazy. Can't have that. Not now. I––

"Hello, Mai!" a little pig-tailed girl approached me from the side. I looked over to her and immediately recognized her dimple-cheeked face. Helen.

"Hey baby!" I said. A huge fake smile overtook the grayness of my face. She laughed and outstretched her hand that held two white envelopes between her delicate little fingers. She reminds me of Shizuka a lot, especially with the red hair.

"Daddy told me to give you your mail today," she reported. "And that he needs to talk to you about the rent again."

I suppressed the feeling in my gut that made me want to cower away from the light of Helen's smile. Instead I took my mail and gave Helen a hug. "Thank you. You be a good girl now, okay? Tell you Dad I'm here if you need a babysitter again, alright?"

"Okay!" she said. "Bye Mai!" I let her go and she ran back down the hall to the elevator to go tell Rick. Rick's the apartment manager, you see. Nice guy, not too stern. Just a balding middle-aged man who didn't talk much. I liked that because I didn't have to answer any questions.

I finally fished my keys out and walked into my room, locking the door behind me. I kicked off my shoes and walked down to the open hallway to my bedroom so I could change out of my retarded uniform and put some decent clothes on.

I opened my two letters. One was a gas bill that was two weeks overdue. I threw it in a drawer by the sink and vowed to write the check for it later tomorrow. God knows I'll forget.

I went to open the second envelope and suddenly noticed it was addressed from Anzu Mazaki. Anzu?! Why would she start writing to me again? We've all grown so out of contact with each other since I've moved here. The last time she wrote…geez, it must have been in March or February!

The letter opener sliced the white paper open and I eagerly read the message, hoping nothing was wrong. I looked at the words confused, as if they were written in code. Then I realized they were in Japanese kanji and I clawed at my brain to remember what everything meant. It took me an hour to read the two short paragraphs.

_Dear Mai,_

_Hey! How's America been treating you? Everyone over here is doing great. I can hardly believe you've been gone for over a year and a half! It seems like you were just here yesterday… Sorry I haven't been keeping in touch, but I've been soooo busy and I'm sure you have to._

_Anyway, the reason I'm writing to you is very urgent! You know how I've always wanted to become a world-class dancer? I entered in a competition and passed the preliminaries! Now they've invited me to a professional audition for a musical! But here's the thing—it's taking place in New York! Can you believe it!? The whole gang's coming with me, too! Our plane will be arriving December 11th around 10pm at the International Airport. Sorry it's such short notice. Hope to catch up with you!_

_Yours truly,_

_Anzu Mazaki_


	2. Int'l Airport

I ironed out my favorite old purple skirt that had been collecting dust in the back of my closet. I traded in my sneakers for the leather boots I wore in Battle City. By the time I was standing gripping the pole on the subway heading to International Airport I looked like my old self again. They probably won't even be able to tell how much I've changed…how much has happened.

I kept checking my watch every ten seconds; 9:30pm. Dammit, why did I wait until the last minute? I'm not _that _worried, I'll admit. I'm sure the flight will be delayed, just like every other plane on the face of the Earth. Still, I can't wait to see all of them. I'd kept in touch by letter and phone a couple times, but I hadn't actually _seen_ any of them for…what was it again…a year and a half? God, has it been that long? How much have all of them changed?

The pattern of squealing wheels on the tracks told me where my stop was. After a few escalator rides I emerged from the underground to a world of darkness speckled with streetlights. I'm a block away from the airport. Whoever positioned landmarks and the subway stops should be shot, I swear. Everything's a block or three or four from where you actually want to get to. It annoys the hell out of me. Maybe it's just because I'm apprehensive. I don't know. I just want to get to the airway gate.

The airlines were stuffed to the brim. Everyone is coming in for Christmas I guess. Men with cell phones glued to their eyes ran passed the mothers who were desperately trying to hush their little ones that cried out in hunger or weariness. I looked into their tired, worn faces and saw my own. No, no I'm just anxious. That's it, just anxious.

When I finally got in through the crowds, the electronic screens above the blue ticket counters showed that the flight from Domino to NYC really _was _delayed 15 to 20 minutes. I checked my watch again. 10pm exactly. Good. I took the elevator up to the third floor and walked down the salmon-carpeted halls until I found the Domino incoming flights gate. I took a seat near the passenger doorway with one eye on the CNN channel that was being projected on the wall. Wars and killings and everyone's fat. Same everyday. Maybe if everyone would just––

"Heyyyy, what's shakin' baby?"

My breath stopped in a sharp gasp. I gripped the armrests of my chair tight until my knuckles were white. I didn't want to turn around. I can't turn around. Maybe it's not him. Maybe he'll go away or he's not talking to me or—

It didn't matter what I prayed. My fears turned to reality when Jorge took the seat next to me and turned his lustful eyes on my trembling frame.

Shit. Oh shit. What if they see him? What if my friends see him?! What if Jorge finds out who my friends are and hurts them? Oh _shit _why did this perverted creep have to show up now?!

"Go away," I told him flatly, glaring at his ugly face. I was trying to be brave. He was sitting crookedly on his seat with one leather-booted leg halfway up on the armrest. His black, greasy hair overcast his eyes that were yellow in desire. A lit cigarette was sitting limply between his lips. He puffed on the cigarette and blew the smoke in my face. The smell began to choke me.

"C'mon, baby," he put his hand on mine. "Is that how you greet your best friend? Come on now. Where's the 'hi, how are you?'" He made a move to put his arm around me, but I jerked it away and stood up. No one else in the waiting area seemed to notice the madman terrorizing me.

"You're no friend of mine, you pervert." I turned to leave. He pulled me back into the seat with a force that nearly sent me down on the ground. Damn, he's strong.

"Baby––"

"Quit calling me baby," I started to grow frustrated. He had a good hold on my arm and it hurt like hell. He knew it, too, but he didn't let go. He twisted it just a little bit to see if I'd cry out. I didn't.

"Mai, sweetie, darling," he smiled with is rotten teeth that matched his ugly black hair. "Why so angry? Can't I talk to you?" His grin turned to a smirk and I knew he had no intention of "talking" about anything.

"How did you find me?" I asked calmly. His grip loosened on my arm, but it still hurt. If I tried to make a break for it, I know I wouldn't get far. Where are those stupid wandering police guys in airports when you needed them?

"I followed you, how else?" Jorge told me proudly. "I caught sight of you in the street and I just _had _to say _hello_." He blew another puff of smoke at me that made me gag. He was lying and I knew it. He probably watched until I left the apartment to follow me. Goosebumps went all across my body.

_What is he going to do to me?_

I looked up at the wall-screen of flights that read the Domino flight would be landing in ten minutes. I had to get rid of Jorge before then. What would Jounouchi think if he saw…?

"What are you doing here anyway, toots?" Jorge asked.

"Trying to get away from you!" I snapped. The mild amused look on his face melted into a snarling picture of a bulldog. He squeezed my arm like it was a toothpick ready for snapping. I couldn't scream; I was afraid he'd really break it.

"You better show me some respect, baby," he said to me through clenched teeth. He took a deep inhale from his smoke. "I asked you _why _you're here and I expect an _answer_. You ain't got no luggage, so who're you waiting for? A friend? Something more? I know you ain't got no family, toots, so if you don't––"

"Is there a problem here?" a gruff looking security guard approached us. Jorge immediately let go of my arm, exposing a large red mark that wrung around from my elbow to my shoulder. It throbbed in anger. The security guy looked suspiciously at Jorge.

"Th-there's no problem, sir," I said as sweetly as I could. I'm not stupid. I know Jorge has a lot of connections and if I were to get him in trouble, I wouldn't live to see tomorrow. Besides, I tried the police once. No one can help me…

"No Jorge, you go on ahead home," I pushed him out of the seat, "and I'll take care of the guests, mmkay?"

That yellow glow in his eye overtook his entire complexion and then was snuffed out like a flame. He broke out into a grin and shared it with the security guard.

"Yeah, sure sweets. Anything ya say."

The guard started to walk away, but kept an eye on us just in case. Jorge began to walk away. I sat back down and closed my eyes. I was trying to keep the tears from rising up and drowning me.

That's when my hair was suddenly pulled back with a harsh yank. I yelped, but a smoke-smelling hand covered my mouth.

"That was some _smooth_ talking, baby," he hissed in my ear. "_Next _time you won't get away so _easy_. See you around." He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and pushed it into my injured arm. I screamed, but he forced his hand harder over my mouth to muffle the sound. When he was done, he threw the damn thing away and walked out of the airport all casual as hell. I was left sitting there with tears in my eyes and a burn mark on my right arm. The other people waiting around looked at me suspiciously and then went back to their magazines. My heart sunk through the floor and burned somewhere in the core of the earth.

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Please comment/review :)

I would love to know how I can improve

And what your general thoughts are on this story.

Thank you.


	3. Jet Lag

The plane from Domino hit a strong air stream going in the opposite way from the States and had to be delayed over half an hour so the pilots could maneuver themselves back on course. That gave me enough time to sneak off to the ladies room and wash the ash off my arm. I inspected the burn hole in my flesh and poured cold water on it until it turned red from the sting. Then I washed my face. All the mascara and eyeliner dripped off into little black pools in the sink that I watched mesmerized. Then I cried and had to wash my face off again. When I looked back in the mirror I couldn't see myself at all. There was this pathetic woman with the soul slowly fading out of her eyes. I couldn't get her to go away.

I went to the lost-and-found up by the front desk and stole a black sweater so I could cover up my arm. Hey, what can I say? A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. By the time I returned to the gate the passengers were already coming into the airport.

The first person I saw was Anzu.

"Anzu!" I tried to yell above the crowd, raising my hand and waving violently to get her attention. The mob of people parted and she finally caught sight of me. She ran through the gate and glomped me in happiness.

"Hi, Mai!" she bubbled with joy all over the place. "How've you been? Look at you, you look great! It's been so long I can't believe it! You haven't changed a bit!" She let go of me and stood back, allowing me to see how much _she_ had changed in a year and a half's time. Her caramel hair stretched long over her shoulders, but she hadn't grown any taller or anything. When you looked hard you could tell her smile wasn't as big as it used to be and the invisible light behind her face had grown dimmer. I guess that's what time does to you.

"How was the flight?" I asked conversationally. I was smiling like a madman. I pulled the sweater closer around me and hugged my coat. I felt the ache still in my arm. In my head I feared Anzu would look over to me and instantly know everything that had happened to me by reading my eyes. Then she'd look away in disgust and leave me here.

"Anzu, where's everyone else?"

She gasped like she just remembered she hadn't been the only one who'd come here. She ran back in the gate (much to the shoutings of one of the airline personnel) and emerged a few moments later leading Yugi out. He was nearly as tall as Anzu now, but he didn't look all that different other than that. That is to say, ignoring the fact he was as pale as death! His tri-colored hair was drooping at the edges and the bags under his eyes (paper or plastic?) were as large as thumbprints. He nearly collapsed into the chairs Anzu led him to.

"Are you okay?" I asked frantically. I kneeled down by him while Anzu stayed standing. His eyes were glossy when he tried to look at me.

"Jet leg…dizzy…" he mumbled. "Hello, Mai…" He even tried to smile in greeting, but failed. He was sicker than a dog! I felt sorry as hell for him. I told Anzu where the small food court was and she ran off to get Yugi a bottle of water. She dashed back just as quick because she didn't have any American dollars. I gave her my three bucks (so much for savings) and she ran back.

"Where Jounouchi?" I asked Yugi. "I'll tell him to get the luggage with Honda while you and Anzu wait for the cab out front––"

"Jounouchi's…not here…" Yugi said. "Honda…neither."

Wh-what?

Something inside tumbled down and away like the loose block of a Jenga game. I was about to prod him for more info, but he fell in a faint lying across the seats. Poor guy. Maybe he just wasn't thinking. Jet lag can really disorientate someone you know. Jou and Honda are here…I mean, Anzu said _the gang _was coming, didn't she? They've gotta be here.

"Sorry! The line was long!" Anzu explained as she finally got back with the bottle of water. She gave me my change before taking the last seat next to Yugi. She propped Yugi's head into her lap and tapped him on the cheeks to get him to wake up. He took his drink slowly. He perked up a little bit, but not by much. I took the chance to talk to Anzu.

"Where are Jounouchi, Honda, and Shizuka? And Otogi; is he here? Bakura didn't come, did he? Didn't you say the whole gang was coming with you?" She nodded repeatedly and took a deep sigh before she answered my question.

"Shizuka came down with the flu last minute—" my heart sank "—I mean she got it _really_ bad. Jounouchi had to stay behind to look after her. Honda would've taken care of her so Jou would be able to come but then Honda found out he had to visit his sister in Tokyo. Family emergency, probably because Johji got himself into trouble again. Jou was so upset. He really wanted to see you…"

I could hear the hint of loneliness in her voice that seemed similar to my own. I know they all had wanted to see me, but I couldn't keep my cheeks from turning pink. I mean, for so long… and he still missed me…

"Mai?"

I jumped out of my thoughts to find Yugi standing up with the support of Anzu. I got up myself and, after finding their luggage (how come everyone buys the same exact kind? Geez!) grabbed a cab outside to take up to my apartment. I continued to torment myself, however, by taking a second glance at any tall blonde that we passed hoping Jou was here anyway.

He wasn't.

Anzu had told me before she'd thought of staying at a hotel, but I'd insisted on letting them stay at my place. Guess I'll have more room for them then I had thought since five out of the possible seven people weren't showing up. I shouldn't be so depressed about it but I am.

When we all finally got to my apartment, it was nearly midnight. I _had _planned to give Anzu and Yugi a small tour of NYC at night when all the lights were on and everything was so gorgeous, but Yugi was getting worse. Besides, I didn't have the money for a cab ride like that anyway so that idea decidedly bombed.

I paid the cab driver with all the change I had left and just barely paid the fare. He got ticked that there was no tip and made us get the luggage out of the back by ourselves. Baka. This city was full of such _bakas _it made me so pissed.

We had a hard time getting up the stairs to the second floor because I was carrying three suitcases and a duffel bag while Anzu was struggling to get Yugi up consciously. The elevator was out of order. Yeah, I know. Gotta love the timing on all these things to break.

"Oh, wow!" Anzu whispered in awe when we _finally_ walked into my room. I had no idea my messy motley-colored apartment was worth any awe, but whatever. It's her first time in America, or NYC for that matter, so I just smiled and nodded along with her. I hope she isn't going to be this perky the whole time. Good _God_ I'd pack her bags for her.

How cruel. That was cruel. She just arrived and I already want to ship her off. Dammit Kujaku stop being such a prissy ass!

"Mai…" Yugi was leaning in the doorway for support. _God_ was he pale! "Where could I… lie down..?"

"In here," I opened my bedroom door. The lamp lit the double bed up so that the flower-print on it looked gold. I helped Yugi into the bed, ignoring his protests about taking over my room. It's easy to win an argument with a guy that was acting half-stoned.

He passed out instantaneously. I shut the bedroom door behind me so he could get some rest. I wonder what would happen if he ever got drunk and felt like this. That'd be a nasty hangover, wouldn't it?

When I found Anzu, she had already fallen asleep herself, lying across my spring couch. I slipped one of my afghans over her to keep her warm. I finally got to take off my coat and sweater and threw it on the ground. The stupid wound was starting to itch, but I just ignored it. I took the inflatable mattress I had been saving for the others and set it up on the ground for myself. It didn't take long before I let my drowsiness conquer me. Somehow, I knew, just _knew_, I wouldn't be sleeping in peace that night.

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Please review! Do you like it?

Fun fact: I originally wrote this story in 2005. I re-wrote it again a few months ago to see how much I have improved. I happy to say that I did :)


	4. The First Nightmare

A/N: My sincerest apologies for making you wait this long until I posted again. I have had some serious problems with my laptop's video driver and it took me more than two weeks to fix the darn thing, then I had to regain all my files so it wasn't fun. Also, I appreciate your reviews soooo much! My grateful thanks to and for their words and insight on the fic. Please continue reading :)

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"Miss, _please_! Sit down! You're frightening the other travelers! You have to calm down. Step out of the walkway, please." Two bubble-headed-bleach-blonde airline stewardesses glared me down as I shrieked at them in panic.

_What's going on?_

"I have to get off this plane!" I shouted hysterically. "Please, let me off! Let me off let me off!"

_What am I doing on a plane?_

The stewardesses shook their heads as if trying to explain something to a small child who couldn't understand. It only got me more pissed off. I tried to shove past them they kept blocking my way.

"You can't get off this plane," she said, pushing me back with incredible force. "The aircraft is now in motion. You have to control yourself––"

"No!" I screamed. "Let me off _now_!" The stewardesses looked at each other, ignoring me, and nodded. Before I could protest again, they each grabbed a hold of one of my arms and pushed me into a seat before buckling me in. I screamed for them to get off me, but when they did, I couldn't get the belt undone. I was trapped.

_Why is no one listening to me? Something's not right…_

"Noo!" I moaned, verging on madness. "Let me go! Stop it, damn you!" The airline personnel couldn't hear my cries anymore. They left me. I couldn't move and suddenly lost my will to do so.

_What the hell is going on here?!_

I looked out the window I was positioned at, watching as the airstrip passed by faster and faster as the plane began to take off. A passing sign read _Domino City Airport_.

_Domino? What the hell?! Where am I going?_

My glance shifted down to the runway and that's when I saw him…

Jounouchi was chasing after the plane on a luggage carrier. It was like that scene out of _Liar, Liar_. What the hell does he think he's doing? The plane's going too fast! He'll never catch it! And even if he did, what could he possibly do to stop it?

_I don't want to leave!_

I pounded on the glass window, trying to get his attention, but he was fading out of view. The plane was finally lifting up into the air. I didn't know what to do anymore.

_Jou! Don't go!_

"Jounouchi!!"

Abruptly, a sharp slap went across the side of my face and everything dissolved away. Instead of staring out a window I was staring into the concerned face of Yugi Mutou.


	5. Mornin' Waffles

"Mai, are you alright? I didn't mean to hit you, but you were screaming in your sleep. I had to wake you up. Are you pain? Just a nightmare?"

I blinked a couple of times, trying to regain my senses. The ground under me was uniquely hard and I realized I'd fallen off the mattress with the covers twisted around my legs. _Dammit_ I must look like a real fool. Not to mention the fact I'm clutching my head because it's suddenly killing me. _Now _who was the one who looked half-stoned?

"Are you okay…?" Yugi asked with genuine concern.

I focused on him and my vision finally cleared up, but his eyes weren't on me. They were on the hole in my arm. Oh, _shit!_ Why didn't I remember sooner?

I instinctively turned and covered my arm with my left hand while I tried to get up before Yugi could start in on the 21 questions. Instead, I tripped over the Goddam covers and fell face-first on the mattress because my arms were all twisted around. I thought I looked stupid _before_! Yugi probably thinks I've gone _insane!_ A _loony!_

"Here, let me help you."

The ex-midget, being now tall enough to do so, took my hand and helped me up. I thanked him in a murmur and waited for the interrogation to begin. It didn't. For some reason he left me alone, maybe from self-respect. I still felt stupid as an ass-wipe, though. I rushed into my room, face pink, and changed into some cleaner clothes. I found a white turtleneck and used it's long sleeves as an excuse to cover my arm. I saw my bed made all nice and I realized how much Yugi had really done. I silently prayed God blessed the little sweetheart.

"Waffles!" Anzu called from the kitchen some time later. "Come get 'em!"

I smelled the aroma of something baking through the closed door of my bedroom. Come to think of it, I wonder where on Earth Anzu had found ingredients for waffles in my kitchen, considering I didn't think I had any. Oh well, I guess. She'd found something.

I went out there to find Anzu still making the food. She was going through my pantry quick as a gun, whipping up some concoction in a large pan. Geez, and I was only gonna heat up some pop-tarts for everyone!

When she was done makin' a mess of the place, she shoved two plates into mine and Yugi's stunned faces that looked the _last _thing from anything to do with a waffle. Anzu didn't seem to notice, seeing as she was beaming all over the place in perpetual glee. I'll admit it: I'm getting scared of this kid…

I turned to Yugi who, seeming braver than me, took the first bite. His face and features went _real _dark as he chew on…on…_whatever _Anzu made. I could see the beads of sweat going down Anzu's cheek as she bit her lower lip in apprehensive wait.

"Well…?" I asked Yug.

Quick as a bullet, Yugi brightened up again and gave Anzu the peace sign in some sort of weird victory pose. You'd think he was an anime character!

"It's _d_e_l_i_c_i_o_u_s_!" he exclaimed. Anzu did an outrageous happy dance I'd've rather never seen and I held my head with my hand with a pathetic sigh and a small laugh. Where did I _find_ these guys? They're crazier than me!

We sat around the kitchen table and ate contentedly until Anzu asked, "Did you guys hear screaming this morning?"

I froze in fear, both of her finding out and exactly _what_ I'd been yelling out. I looked at Yugi scared as hell, but he didn't rattle on me.

"Oh, I think it came from the next apartment room over or something," he brushed the subject off. Anzu accepted the answer and went on with her breakfast. I breathed a sigh of relief as once again I silently thanked Yugi.

Turns out the bread…food…_thing _Anzu made wasn't half-bad at all. After everyone finished, the subject of this morning was completely forgotten, so I was grateful enough for that. Figured it was as good a time as any to ask what was going on with this dance recital thing.

"Oh," Anzu responded to my question. "Well, it's being held 3pm today at the _Royal Arts Dance Theatre_ near Times Square. I have to be there by 2, though. I've been practicing so hard for _weeks!_ I just don't know where the movie-musical is being filmed yet, or even how long I'll be away from home." I noticed Yugi suddenly had a sad look on his face at the mention of Anzu being away and quietly walked over to wash the dishes. I tried to stop him, but he insisted so valiantly I decided to let him go at it.

"How's it been in America?" Anzu asked me. A million things came to mind. Losing my first two jobs as a waitress, nearly getting mugged a couple months ago, having to spend a night out in the rain on the streets, Jorge, the gang attack, missing everyone so much, having my mind wander to Jou all the time it was ridiculous…

"Great," I lied with a fake smile on my face. Like hell I was gonna mention all the hardships I've gone through because of my many mistakes.

"Christmas is coming up, you know," Anzu reminded me. Yeah, thanks. I was _really_ wondering what all the colored lights and wreaths were for. Thanks.

"I never heard how your last Christmas was, Mai," Yugi said, turning off the water from the sink. The dishes sat to the side, dripping water over the counter. "Anything special happen?"

My eyes turned inward at my black fear. The simple question involuntarily made tremors go through my spine and reawaken the memories seared into my head. Christmas…the loneliness, the booze, running in the dark, falling down and screaming, trying to get away but my arms wouldn't work and then came closer and there was terror in––

"Mai, are you alright?" Anzu rushed out of her seat to me. "You're paler than death! Even more than Yugi was yesterday!" Oh no! That bad? What was I thinking; I can't get these two worried over me!

"I'm fine, uh, just, uh," I was stumbling for an excuse.

_What would Jounouchi say?_

He'd smile and brush them off. I tried it and smiled.

"I'm okay. No problem." Anzu tilted her head.

I guess it worked too well because then Yugi said, "You sound like Jou and he always says that when something big's on his mind."

_Damn_. What the hell am I supposed to say now? Why does last Christmas still bother me? That was almost a year ago! I have to get it off my mind! It's…it's done.

"Oh no!" Anzu randomly cried. I jumped out of my seat in surprise. Geez this kid is going to give me a heart attack! "We've gotta go or I'll be late for the audition!" She was right––it was already one o'clock because we'd all slept in, probably due to the fact we were up so late last night. No telling how long it would take to walk down and take the subway to Times Square.

Anzu rushed out of the room and rummaged through her bags to get her dancing outfit and all. On second thought, she just took the whole bag. When she came back to the main room, me and Yug were already in our winter coats and ready to go. As we left and I locked the door behind me, a thought popped in my head of how I somehow wished there was a way I could lock the memories behind me as well. Like a wall, a door that I could leave locked forever. But the click of the lock was the same as before: a short farewell until I would come back to open up everything once again.

-------------------------

A/N: Please review on what you think of the fic so far and maybe what you think will happen :) I may just surprise you!


	6. The Audition

A/N: Thank you for being so patient. I've had a lot going on in my life and it made getting onto the site to update nearly impossible. Please accept these two chapters as a token of my gratitude that you are actually reading the fic :)

-

"Is traffic this bad everyday, Mai?"

I shifted around to look at Anzu's bewildered face, transfixed by the dead-stop traffic that surrounded us on all sides. A smile escaped from the corners of my mouth. Saturday afternoon, Times Square, whatever millions of people walking around––who by the way don't know the difference between a red light and green light. I mean, I just _spelled_ traffic jam, didn't I? Didn't matter how cold it is outside; there has to be a million tourists running around between the cars in the street. You could always tell they were tourists. They always walked on the "walk" signs and didn't on the "don't walk" signs. A New Yorker doesn't do that. A light is a light is a light. In other words, a light is nothing.

"Always is," I grinned stupidly. I don't know what got me in such a cheerier mood all of a sudden, but I was. Maybe it was the coffee I picked up at Starbucks on the way. 'Dunno. At least I didn't spill it with all the lurching the cab was doing coming at unexpected stops. Yugi was on my left and Anzu on my right, me in the middle. Oh joy. I really didn't mind sitting there, in all honesty, because I was all peaceful for some God-knows-why reason. The people walking outside busily looking like they were off to go do something important while all the cars and vans and trucks and station wagons were backed up tight and warm against the winter in…what's-the-word…suspended animation? Something like that, anyway.

"I hope we make it on time," Anzu spoke up again. She kept looking out the window at different angles as if looking at it another way would somehow make the whole street clear up. Her hands were tightly clasped around her duffel bag and she kept clenching and unclenching her fingers into a ball of spastics.

Yugi, on the other hand, being as he was near the window nearest a curb, was looking amazed at how many people were around us. A little boy in an oversized red coat looked at Yugi through the window and smiled. I saw Yugi start, but before he could wave back, the mother of the little boy––or aunt or whatever––took the little boy's hand and pulled him into the _Virgin Records _store behind her. Yugi sighed a little and leaned back into his seat.

The cab driver quite successfully stayed in his coma. Either that or he was too annoyed to move or say anything. He snorted occasionally, but that was about it. _Oni._

"You know…" I was about to strike up conversation, but I looked back at Anzu again. Her face had grown red she was getting so flushed and upset. Damn. The one time I feel good everyone else isn't. My luck.

"_Al_right," I leaned over Yugi and opened the door. Yugi looked totally shocked and stared at me like I was half crazy. I frowned at him.

"You can get _out_ now," I said, suddenly irritated. I shouldn't be, but I was uneasy again. Whatever, I don't care. Yugi caught my tone and didn't argue. He nearly tripped on the curb, but he did finally get to the sidewalk and let me and Anzu out. I walked to the cab, leaving my friends standing there, and paid the driver his dues. At first he didn't give me my change, thinking he got a tip. When I stayed standing there, he reluctantly gave it to me with an airy snort. Oni! Baka! This city is full of such _bakas_…

"_Okay_," I began my schpeal to Anzu and Yugi––both of which were going through various spasmatics by now including shifting around from one foot to the other and biting their lips in worry. Holy _crap_, and _I'm _the one who had the coffee! "We're gonna walk about 3 or 4 blocks this way––" I pointed northward down the street "––and turn down the street before _Planet Hollywood. _That should be the one with _Royal Arts Dance Theatre_ on it. It should be near the corner, not to hard too find. Got it?" Nods from both of them. Good. At least they didn't get wound up and spontaneously combust or something.

The small trip was actually enjoyable. We walked amid the crowds and got shoved a bit, but that was to be expected around midday in New York City. Everyone who passed by had stone faces on them except the little kids who danced and were happy to be outside within the cold. Mothers held their children's hand close to them to keep them from wandering off, men in business suits complained about the traffic before checking their watches and half-jogging towards their workplace, tourists took out their cameras and took pictures out in the middle of the walkway. The pictures took a very long time to take because everyone kept walking between the picture-taker and their scene without a second glance.

"W_ow_…" Yugi tried to take it all in. Mostly being amazed by the sky scrapers. If I had time, I'd take them to see the Empire State Building near the apartment. That'll give them a jump! Looking down at all the little people in a big city…my heart smiling wildly in childlike wonderment and solemn, unknown sorrow at the snow that fell every now and then, but never reaching the ground…looking through the big window that no one saw behind the trees…the nanny getting irritated at the drawn curtains and I just went on––––––––oh my _God!_ What the hell was I thinking? Where did that memory resurface from?

"There!!" Anzu said when she spotted the red and black structure that was the _Theatre._ She sped up ahead of us and ran into the building with her duffel bag swinging wildly at her side. Yugi sped up behind her and I trailed behind him. Shadows followed me, but I didn't see them. Only smoke from the corner of my eye that dwindled upward and died in the chill…died in the chill…like a lot of things…

-

Somehow we arrived on time, or at least by my standards. Three guys in black uniforms escorted Anzu backstage when she showed her invitation. They told me and Yugi to find a seat in the audience section down the hall where the recitals would start in twenty minutes. Before Anzu left Yugi whispered "good luck" in her ear, which made her smile.

As Yugi and I went to find some good seats, we witnessed the arrival of more competitors for the part. There were skinny couples, ballerinas, and ballroom mistresses that poured in at such a frightening rate Yugi asked one of them if there was more than one audition going on at the same time. The answer was no. Only one.

The room we sat in was set up like an opera theater. Everything was draped in red velvet except for the state which had a black backdrop with polished wood flooring. Probably good for tap dancers, I thought, but I really don't know. We sat in the middle of the row near the front where we could see the whole expanse of the stage. There weren't that many people there, and most of the them were in the back. A few people filed in the front row, but they looked liked judges because they were black suits with blue ties. One of them was realllly short and had a beret on his head that was obnoxiously orange. His face was marked by little wisps of mustache that grew under his upturned nose. By the looks of him, his ego looked too big to fit on the stage, let alone the front door.

"I guess I didn't really think of all the competition Anzu was gonna have," Yugi said to me, shifting around in his seat and pulling me away from my thoughts. I nodded. Neither had I. "Can't wait till it starts, though!" he went on. "It'll be hard, but I'm sure Anzu can do it. She's been practicing so hard––almost six hours _every_day. She's really dedicated. Everyone thought she was pushing herself too hard, but she was _so_ happy we didn't want to bother her. Now it's her big chance…" He drifted off as he began to twiddle his thumbs.

I believed him. Either Anzu was elite to be among so many people…or she was in way over her head. I'd like to believe the first option. At any rate, I think Yugi stopped talking because he thought he was annoying me. He was too twitchy and shifty. He wasn't annoying me at all, but it was just as well seeing as the orange-beret judge stood up and started shouting towards the stage doors.

"Oookay, peeee-pole!" The French accent was deafening. "Letzi go!"

Yes sir, Mario and Luigi sir. I snickered.

A short and pudgy ballerina dressed in a yellow tutu came out first. She looked nervous as hell, she really did. When the music started, she started tripping all over the place and moving against the beat. Uniquely terrible. I think they lost a stage light in the process of her dance. I heard Yugi sigh a breath of relief beside me as we both realized Anzu had a pretty good chance of winning if everyone was as crappy as that ballerina.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. An hour and fifteen minutes later, twenty-five or so dancers, among them many a sucker, came and went before Anzu finally came out with her yellow short skirt and spaghetti-string black dance top. I suddenly realized there had been no tap dancers. Of the twenty-some performers before her, quite a few awed me––especially the one tango couple that moved together so fast and so united that they seemed one blur of red. Few people clapped at all, I don't know why, but when Anzu came out, me and Yugi cheered and clapped until we annoyed the orange-beret judge. I hope that didn't mark Anzu down… _I _thought it was pretty funny…

"You can do it," Yugi whispered.

The small breath of hope somehow made its way to Anzu and she looked up with a face so serious and determined that I hardly recognized her. This was it.

The music started––upbeat, fast-tempo j-pop. I'm pretty sure it was Ayumi Hamasaki. The beat was fast, but Anzu was faster. She looked and moved around like something between _Flash Dance_ and the tango dancers from before. As the melody got faster and swifter, so did Anzu's movements. She twirled at all the right places, stopped when the music took a pause, and even smiled when she was facing the audience and judges. She was the best thing up there and I think everyone knew it. Or at least I, and I'm sure Yugi, thought so.

"Isn't she…" I stole a glance at Yugi. He was wide-eyed in entrancement with his mouth hanging open in awe. I think that theater could have fallen on him and he wouldn't have noticed. Needless to say he didn't hear me, so I watched Anzu's big finish with a curious smile on my face. _Everyone _clapped and cheered this time it seemed and Anzu took a bow with this huge grin on her face before running backstage again. She nailed it. She just nailed it.

"…whoa…" I heard Yugi sigh out-in-space. I nodded, but the unrested feeling came back into my heart and I was silent. At the time of excitement, I was down. My luck. _No more Starbucks for me for awhile_ I sighed to myself… but I know that isn't it. Coffee is just an excuse.

"Say, Yug," I turned to him; absently calling him by the nickname Jou himself had dubbed him. It obviously got his attention because he stopped his reverie short and looked at me oddly. "When does this thing end?" I waited as he checked his watch.

"Another hour, I think," he said. _Great._ This was going to get…

Really.

Boring.

"…wake me when it's over, okay?"

Yugi nodded. I shut my eyes and tried to get as comfortable as I could before sleep seized me. Surprisingly quick, actually, even after I had that coffee. Damned if I wouldn't have gone through another hour or so of boredom rather than relive the nightmare that followed. The feeling was the all-too-familiar agony, and the semi-darkness consumed me all within 1 foot from Yugi and miles away from myself.

-


	7. The Second Nightmare

I was walking through to Central Park when it happened. I still had my second waitressing job back then. It was some small restaurant downtown that was pretty busy during the late hours. It got lousy tips, but some thick-billed ones if you winked at the right customer. Felt like a whore job, charming dull-witted idiots for money rather than taking their God-damn order for some freaking cheeseburgers and French fries. Soup or salad, honey? How bout some shake! _Bakas! Bakas bakas!_

It was…cold. February? Yeah. Yeah, it was Valentine's Day. I remember because of all the overly-obvious mushy crap that had been going on at the restaurant. Couples coming and buying dinner for two before eating face. Ugck! I made crappy tips because of it. I wandered over to Central Park to stroll around and sort my thoughts…but I couldn't. I tried sitting down on the benches and thinking. I couldn't do it that way either. It was too cold. Everything was gray and white and cold.

I turned around to go home. I had no one to…to make the day special…it made me…I don't know…I just wasn't looking and…

_Well, well, well! If it aint's _Jorge's_ grrrl!!! Why aren't ya wich cha babbbbby on V-day, suga?_

I looked up. In my dream they––the five black monstrosities with enough bling-bling around their necks to sink the Titanic––were even fatter and taller than when I had really met them. They were hideous, drenched in cologne, and full of tattoos and bullet holes. One flashed a gun at me. Silver chrome caught the lamplight next to the bench I had just been sitting on. Their smiles rang out in unison. There was no one else there. I couldn't fight.

I ran. I ran and screamed and ran and cried.

They caught me.

_Hey! Hey! Hey!_ The one with the large baseball cap shading his face grabbed a hold of both my shoulders and dragged me into the center of the five men. He ripped off some duct tape he'd conveniently found in one of his elephant-sized pockets and put three layers of it on my mouth. The sticky side tasted disgusting on my lips. They were too strong. Soon all of them had their hands on me. Nothing was sacred. My coat was ripped off; leaving me shivering in the freezing cold while they all stared at my cheap-ass waitress uniform. Mentally undressed me would be a better term.

_Look at this gal's's goods!!! Wooooo mama!_

_Jorge done pick a might fiiiiiiiine one! Didn't 'e?_

_Mighty fiiiiiiine_ they all agreed, still all grinning like hostile maniacs.

I didn't know what to do. I panicked.

Mai oh my God Mai don't let them take you anywhere oh my God run away and get help oh my God find Jou and run and don't look back they're gonna rape you run away don't find Jorge he'll kill you or rape you oh my God run away please God Jou save me this isn't real I want to go back home where is home?!!

So I tried to run again. I kicked and I screamed through the duct tape. I even got one of the guys right in the balls. They must have been made of diamonds because he sure as hell didn't notice. His smile waned, though. Slightly.

_Bitch!_

_Wha you tryin' to do girllllll?_

_We ain't gonna do nuthin to Jorge's girl!_

_Yah! Jorge's girl's's gotta be his! We won't touch no girl that's his!_

_Yah! We wouldn't damage nuthin! We gots orders from 'em!_

_Yah! Yah! That's right! We got orders to––_

**Enough**.

They were silent. Their hands left me and buried themselves in pants pockets.

**She's not for sale. Forget past orders. Bring mine here! Mine…**

No! No, don't! Leave me. Kill me. Don't take me to him…

They dragged me, screaming silently. They dumped me at his feet so that when I looked up I saw this face illuminated by the moon. The ash of his cigarette fell down into my eyes and I squirmed until he kneeled down by me. He looked at eyes; my violent eyes that were stabbing through him with rage and hatred.

**Not broken yet, huh? Fine. Time to speed up the process.**

Jorge clicked his fingers and they beat on me. Beat me like there was no tomorrow; scars and bruises only months would take away with painkillers. Boots were jabbed into my stomach and hands punched into the back. I had no insurance; no way of getting help anywhere. My face became a painting of black and blue splotches. What they dealt me was mine to fix. If they killed me, I'd have no grave save the water running through New York Harbor. And what peace that would have brought upon my soul!

When he snapped his fingers again, they picked me and tried to make me stand. My arms went numb and legs were no longer able to support me. I fell to the ground, my constant place. Then _he_ grabbed my chin. He saw the anger that flashed through my eyes, not fear but _rage_, and he laughed horridly.

**That's what I want to see. You're a tough chick, babe. Now if I could only get you on my side. HAHAHA! Know this Mai…**

"Mai?"

**If you ever give yourself up to another…**

"Mai? Wake-up."

**…you will pay…**

"Oh, dear! That little lady looks like she's sick! Is she okay?"

**…with much more than you're life.**

"Mai! Wake-up! Can you hear me?"

**Won't you be mine?**

……

I'd rather die.

-

A/N: Honest opinion, what do you think? I'd love for you to review! Thanks for reading, more is to come soon!


	8. Surprise

Yugi and country guy who had been sitting behind us finally managed to wake me up. The show must go on, I suppose. No one else decided my freaking out was worth looking into. The dancers were still performing and the auditorium still tranquil. I had apparently scared Yugi and the Texan because I had turned this unearthly pale and started breathing in gasps. Yugi thought I was having a seizure or something. I said it was only a nightmare. I didn't say a true nightmare, one of my past, but he knew something was up anyway. He almost looked like he…like he pitied me. Am I one to be pitied? I didn't used to be…

I shivered, but there was no warmth within a thousand miles that could ever warm me up again. Yugi kept giving me uncomfortable glances of concern throughout the rest of the recital.

-

Anzu won one of the lead parts. She came running out from backstage gripping a large piece of yellow paper and a white ticket and jumping up and down in an ecstatic excitement that she could barely contain herself with. When she saw us, she nearly blew her top in such a lack of control. I smiled as she hugged me and Yugi tightly, but my head was elsewhere. My day had been permanently ruined by that memory, although Yugi seems to have forgotten due to the fact he's screaming in girlish happiness just as much as Anzu is. Oh _God_, I think I'm gonna puke…

"Anzu, what's that ticket?"

"This? I'm taking first class to the location of the shooting of the musical."

"Already? When do you leave?" A hint of sadness.

"According to this ticket…"

"Yah?"

"…tomorrow."

And I swear Yug's eyes bugged out two inches out of their sockets and he fainted out of the clear blue. And, although he only earned a few scrapes and the event was hardly worth remembering, it was one of the most scariest things I'd experienced up to that point. And, maybe, it was because I was selfish and didn't want to be alone. And, maybe, it was because…in the back of my head…I wanted Yugi and Anzu to take me back to Domino with them.

-

By next afternoon, Anzu was gone. She's probably half way to Toronto, Ontario, Canada by now (the on-location place of the shooting). Her flight took off really early and she got up for it on time even though we'd spent the previous day up into the wee hours of the night. We'd walked around the city in the dark together. I see now that that was a stupid idea––could've gotten mugged or something––but I know that I didn't care. By morning traffic was nice and we didn't have any problem getting to the airport…it was the saying goodbye that was so hard. As we walked Anzu to the gate––a place at which we could not pass––Anzu turned to us with a sigh.

"Well," she said, "I guess this is it." She smiled cheerily at the both of us, but I could see the tears filming in Yugi's eyes as he stood beside her. I realized right then how deeply he was going to miss her. Then, he'll leave for Domino…and I'll be all alone again. Anzu saw the horribly depressed look upon my face and mistook it for her own departure.

"I'll keep in touch with all of you, promise," she put her hand on my shoulder. I nodded, forcing myself to smile and think of how much I was grateful to Anzu for coming to New York in the first place, if only I could see her for such a little while. I wanted to cry, but that would be so stupid. I held it back.

"G-gonna miss…see ya off and…in touch always because…" I could see Yugi start to crack up. My heart strained itself further. He was _really_ gonna miss her. He took a deep breath and side-smiled. "Goodbye, Anzu."

Let me tell you, Anzu looked like he'd said the _absolute_ nicest thing a guy could ever say to her. She leaned down ever-so-slightly and kissed Yugi on the cheek. He was all-red.

"Flight 726 for Toronto, boarding now!" the airline's intercom announced with a crisp voice that made me want to find the announcer and beat the crap out of them for being so cheery while we were all so sad and messed up. That would require energy though…and I _really_ don't have any of that to spare.

Anzu hugged us tight one last time before disappearing with a final wave into the airway bridge. The one she so recently had arrived on now would bear her away. Yugi rubbed his eyes, blush still wildly apparent.

"Mai?"

"Hmm?"

I stopped the reel of memory from this morning through my head as Yugi walked up to me. I was sprawled on the couch, arm over my eyes. I must be the _worst _hostess! I've been dozing off since the morning and totally ignoring Yugi. Geez, I'm so selfish… I'm surprised he doesn't go home now and leave me alone with my stupid problems. Nope… he hasn't changed. Not a bit.

"What is it?" I asked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep off my eyes. He looked at me almost apologetically and a little anxious. I fought back a wild impulse to slap him across the face and demand what he wanted. Holy _crap_, what's with me being irritable so damn much?

"Mai, there's something I f-forgot to tell you."

Now I was interested. I took this time to notice that Yugi was hiding something behind his back that was most likely bad news. I hope not…God I hope not.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

"Jou made something for you last minute when he found out he couldn't come to America to see you. He wanted to see you so much, but he needed to take care of Shizuka because she got so sick. So…here. I'm sorry I didn't think of it sooner…when Anzu was still here to see it…"

He handed me a curiously package wrapped in brown paper that, upon opening, revealed a videotape. It was wound to the beginning and labeled in black magic marker under the title "To: Mai Kujaku" with big, bold letters. My heart leapt all the way into my throat and I had to fight back a new impulse to hug Yugi in ignorant glee. Of all things I had not expected this…

I dashed off the couch and put the tape in the VCR connected to the only small TV I could afford. I remember now how Jou used to tell me that the only way he and his sister could communicate back when she was living elsewhere was through tapes like this one…back when Shizuka was still living at her mother's home before her surgery. Man, the poor girl is sick all the time isn't she? Poor kid.

I clicked play and backed away from the TV as the fuzzy "snow" lit up the screen. Yug was trying to be a sweetheart and let me watch it by myself, but it is a small apartment, and through the corner of my eye I could see him keep glancing to see the tape. Not that I care…please, just bring up the picture already!

Gray static…gray snow…then a plain blue screen. I wasn't aware of it, but I was shaking like something terrible in my apprehension. I was worried maybe the tape was blank…maybe it wasn't there…

"I'm sorry I forgot," Yugi went on apologizing. I nodded, brushed him off.

And then a zoomed-focus picture of Shizuka Jounouchi in pink ribbon pajamas filled the screen. Her spirit filled my apartment and I could swear I nearly believed she was right in front of me.

"Hello, Mai," she smiled into the camera. It nearly fell over and then readjusted itself before zooming in on a box of tissues. It zoomed back out; Shizy laughing slightly before it turned into a nasty batch of violent coughs. The recorders' fingers got in the way of the lens and the camera was set down on the ground. I got to see black and white sneakers walk up to the bedside. Shizy's voice.

"Onii-chan, isn't the camera still on?"

I laughed. It came from somewhere deep and I smiled.

Jou took his camera back and set it up so I saw Shizy again. She was lying under many blankets on a bed underneath a window with sunlight flooding in. It was such a pretty image that I wished, even consciously, I had been there instead of her coming here…

By this time, Yugi had parked himself on the couch at watched intently. I didn't care and I felt great not caring about it! I politely ignored him, transfixed by the tape.

"Sorry we couldn't come and see you," Shizuka smiled that ever-forever smile. "I came down with something bad and onii-chan is helping me before Mom comes back from her business trip. Maybe we'll see each other again soon and you can come back here sometime."

Those words hit me in the chest and I looked away, not wanting to bear her innocent smile. Shizuka-chan is definitely the strongest person I know. I don't know precisely why, but those words cut me. And, yet, I'm fooling myself when I say I don't know why they do.

Shizy went on to talk mildly about how everyone was doing great, she hoped Anzu and Yugi were having fun, and that she hoped to see me soon. Jou dropped the camera once or twice and I rolled my eyes at him even though he'd never see it. It made me sad, and made me silent. Shizy wrapped up, illness taking her time away.

"Ja ne, Mai!" she waved. Used tissues fell off the bed as she moved to wave at the camera Jou had so studiously held throughout all her broadcast. "Take care."

A fizz, and then the screen went back to blue. Half a second, I was worried that was all, that Shizuka was the only one to say hello on the whole tape. Me of little faith……

-

A/N: MUWAHA! What a wonderful way to leave you in suspense! Lucky for you I've posted the next chapter already :) Please, though, maybe review this chapter before reading the next? Thank you for your support!


	9. Jounouchi

In the next second, Honda was on the screen of all people! He was carrying some luggage bags and stuffing them in the back of a bright yellow taxicab. Snow was piled up everywhere. The sound came back with the video and I heard Jou coaxing Honda quite hilariously.

"C'mon, man! Say hi!" he said. Those were the first words I'd heard him say in a very, _very_ long time. I didn't want it to, but my breath hitched and I didn't think I'd ever feel so empty like I did in that one moment. Like I lost everything that was being displayed right in front of me.

Honda packed a final suitcase and shut the trunk of the cab. He turned around and looked straight at the camera. He was stressed out for some reason––you could easily tell by his balled fists and glaring look––but he put on a nice smile for me. Yah, he always was a nice guy I suppose.

"Yo, Mai. I'm off to my sister's house right now to go see Johji. I hope you're havin' fun and all in the big apple and stuff. Ha ha, wish I knew what else to say, but yah. Hope America's treatin' ya well. Lover boy here [he pointed to the camera can't seem to get you off his––"

The camera tipped and all of a sudden a giant snowball came out of nowhere. It hit Honda straight in the face and I didn't laugh this time. I was rather angry and hurt. I had wanted Honda to finish the thought because if he didn't…I'm sure…that I'd go crazy…with not knowing…what the end of…

"Jou!" Honda was laughing his ass off, bunching up a snowball of his own. A huge snow fight started, eventually hitting the camera that resulted in quite a few swear words. Then I heard the cab drive away a second later. With Jou laughing in the background, there was a click and the gray fuzz returned. I heard Yugi snickering behind me before all-out laughing at what he'd seen. I was still kind of…I don't know…distressed…but I still laughed because there was someone to laugh _with_.

And, with a flash of light, Jounouchi himself was on that screen. And I will never, _ever_ forget that image after all the dreams…and yet I still didn't want to see him. How horribly indecisive can I be? It's like I'm scared to see him even if he can't see me…is that why I left in the first place? No, no I shouldn't think that, that's foolish. Kujaku, girl, don't lose it again…

It was…a little funny to see Jou on the television. He's just sitting there, staring a little I guess. He has longer golden hair now––it's draping a bit on the shoulders of his blue shirt. He looks like he's half-way smiling, half-way confused-looking like he doesn't know what to do, what to say. My heart ached more than I will ever know, like some unknown fiend put some coals inside me and blew at them until they were burning my insides. Jou, however, was frozen. He was…scared, but differently. We're all scared in this wretched world and somehow we look for a way out when there never will be one. Or is it something more?

Jou, please.

_Speak._

"…hey, Mai," Jou's blank face transformed into a smile that was his trademark sheepish grin. I felt my face turn totally hot and I tried exclusively to get my heart to stop pounding in my head, but I couldn't. I was gonna start to cry, I know it. What has America _done _to me? Jou…

_…take me away…_

"Ha ha, guess I'm not so use ta bein videotaped and all dat much. Ha ha! Well, merry Christmas and a happy new year and all dat. Shizy should be betta soon, so you don need to worry about her all dat much. She'll be fine. Everyone's doing pretty okay over here, actually. Everyone changed too, it kinda scares me sometimes…."

His eyes…they're flickering…why?

"…I gotta job over at da car shop and Yugi took over his gramps' Turtle gameshop. Honda's working outta town and Anzu got back her old waitressing job, but she quit it to go to New York. I hope she wins her competition so she can fulfill her dream and all. Well, whatdya know! Maybe it isn't all dat hard to talk with a microphone an bein recorded and stuff." He laughed, subconsciously running his fingers back through his hair.

Aw, Jou. You always were so damn easy to entertain. You don't even have any _idea _how much your accent would fit in over here, do you?

"Shizy talks about you all da time like she just spoke with ya yesterday. Sometimes I think she makes up conversations with ya cuz every week she says something new. I'm trustin you to know dis cuz I swore not to tell anyone else cuz they'll just think Shizy's crazy. Ha ha ha! Yah…

"I hope you're still dueling and all, too."

Well _that _was a total change in topic. Duel monsters…I haven't played since…well, Battle City. Everything else past that has been cheap-shot, nothing hard core. I used to be something back in Battle City, but I didn't think I was. I don't think I've looked at a duel monsters card in _months_. Of course, Jou wouldn't know that. How could he?

Jou went on, saying, "I know it's not much, but I sent ya some cards 'o mine. I don't duel much since…well since Battle City. It all…went downhill from there. Didn't have a reason to play, ya know? Haha so maybe I can support yours. Hopefully its still in the box I'm gonna put the tape in––"

I grabbed the remote and put the video to pause. Jou was suddenly stopped in mid-motion and that made me so very sad to know he wasn't really there; just a picture that I could control with a remote. I bit my lip, echoing for the things in my head to go away.

Without getting up, I stretched back behind me and grabbed the package that I had so carelessly let drop to the ground so many innocent minutes before. Sure enough, inside were three cards: red eyes black dragon, time wizard, and baby dragon. Jou's three most adored cards in the game. And he's giving them to _me_?

I quickly clicked play on the remote, feeling Yugi's eyes on my back the whole time wondering which cards Jou gave me. I swear if he comes near me right now, I'll whack him upside the head. I don't care if I have no patience, I don't have time to deal with it all right now. Lucky for him, he kept his distance. I must have had a battle aura, I'm telling you.

Jou's actions restarted and the sound on the tape relapsed a couple seconds as it fizzed out again. Damn cheap VCR.

"––I figgered since I'm not playing anymore I'd let ya build up ya deck as strong as ya could. Plus, ya can tink 'o me whenever ya play 'em, so it's like I'll be in ya heart…of da cards. Use it ta kick some major butt––fer me."

He winked and gave me the thumbs up with that silly grin on his reddened face. I bit my tongue trying not to feel anything––trying to take my mind off the things going through my head. Horrendous things;

_You don't duel he won't be in your heart how could you have left them he still talks to you after you left you don't deserve such loyalty maybe its best if he moved on why can't you move on why do you never let it go? Why do you_––

––love him?

_What? What! What on earth am I thinking?! This is ridiculous! Absurd!_

Jou went on, being as he really wasn't there and didn't know how I was over-agonizing. He went on with his smile, with his wink, and his voice never lost its tone. It made that pit in my stomach turn over and over until I felt like clutching my sides and disappearing into the shadows. I can't stand it and I don't know why. I find the reason, but then the grayness steals it away again. What's…what's _wrong _with me?

"Take good care of your yourself, Mai! Have a merry Christmas and I promise ta get in touch with ya before it comes! Can't believe it's dat time of year again heh heh! See ya around and don't forget all of us over here, kay?"

Forget? How could I forget? Aren't I supposed to be the one who's so damn melancholy over here?

_You were the one who made him sad. It's your fault he's like this and you don't even care do you? You think it'll all just go away and you_––

Jou reached over, waved silently, and turned off the camera. The screen reverted back to gray snow while the tape wound on and on. I didn't stop it. Not yet. What if there's more? What if he comes back at the last minute like one of those old jokes and then says something really important. Like maybe he'll say he's really here in New York and he's coming to see me and then we'll all go back to Domino and I won't be alone anymore and––

"Mai?"

Yugi nudged me in the shoulder and I looked up at him. My legs were terribly numb from sitting on the ground and I couldn't move. They're probably cramped too, but what do I care. My face is pretty flushed; I can feel it. I'm not at my best, I'll tell ya. Was I just going through hysterics?

…am I going crazy?

"What?" I asked.

"It's over."

_Over Mai. It's over. You can't go back. It's over. You lost your chance._

"What?" I repeated, voice edgy.

"The tape…it's done now."

_It's done now, Mai. It's over and done and you can't go back. Never…never…_

"The…oh. Right. Sorry."

He stared at me as I stood up to turn off the VCR and television screen. I left the tape in the machine, but I knew it was gonna be repeating in my head for a long while to come. I looked over to Yugi, no doubt a pitiful sight on my face. He gave me a sympathetic shrug and very small smile that bore no comfort.

"You'll see him soon," he assured. "It'll all be okay in the end." I nodded and strained a small smile with no feeling but hidden inside pain.

I'll see him soon. It'll be okay in the end.

Bullshit.

-

A/N: Thanks for reading this chapter! Stay tuned for the next installment :) I am very excited because it's about time to turn up the heat…(and no, that isn't the last you've seen of Jounouchi!)


	10. His Decision

Author's Note: Sorry to impede you on your merry way to reading this fic, but I wanted to give a heartfelt shout-out to _darkrunner_. I appreciate your reviews very, very much! I'll admit that I did not have a beta-reader for this fic, and I'm going to go back on the original document and fix the grammatical errors. I've been told on other projects that I have problems with verb tense and putting past- and present-tense together where they're not supposed to, so I'll have to keep a watchful eye on that.  
I, also, was surprised to see the fic is not geting as many reviews as the first time (I had originally submitted it a year or so ago on a different account and the reviews were just pouring in!), but I'm still thankful! Thank you again for your enthusiastic reviews!!

Don't lost hope, my friends…… Jounouchi is not through with his surprise appearances _yet!_

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The crash woke me up.

I'm pretty sure it was a crash. Like a bowl or a glass. Something broken. I rubbed my eyes and turned over on my other side, listening hard just in case it was a burglar or maybe…maybe it's _him!_ I pulled the comforter up to my neck, barely breathing and wide awake. He's off somewhere far away and there's no way he could get in my room. See Mai? No reason to worry, right?

There were footsteps, bare feet stepping on the hardwood floor. The kitchen. Wait…wasn't something broken? If there's any glass pieces on the ground, Yugi may step on it and cut himself. Wouldn't that top it all off? A trip to the hospital, some white-coat assholes with PhDs label him as a patient, and we all get the run-around for weeks about bills. Aw, man. Yugi, _please_, don't step on any gla––

"_Ow!_"

"Aw, shit," I muttered under my breath. There went that! I silently pushed the blanket to the side of the couch. The half-busted digital clock on the coffee table read 4am with its obnoxiously bright green numbers. 4am?! What on earth is Yugi doing up at this hour? Is he some dinnerware thief or something? Oh God, my _head_…

I looked over the couch to the kitchen area just as Yugi opened the refrigerator door. The door opened so that it was facing me and Yugi couldn't see the rest of the room. I sneaked up behind it and waited while leaning up against the wall with a headache splitting my head in two. What was he doing _up_ at this hour? I don't have any sweets or cake or anything for him to eat like that. He'll have to have some snacks but……oooh! I need an aspirin!

"Ahhh!" Yugi screamed in surprise when he shut the door to see me behind it. The milk carton he had been holding in his hands went flying backwards, spilling its contents over everything. Funny what such a _simple _twist of the wrist can do. Yugi clasped his hand over his chest and took in air in short breathing gasps.

It's too early for this. That scream definitely did _not _help my headache. I stared at Yug indifferently and yawned. Yugi blushed.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled next-to-inaudibly. "I'll clean up." He grabbed some paper towel off next to the stove and wiped up all the spilled milk. He turned the carton over back to its right-side-up position and put it on the counter. A third of it had spilled out, but Yugi cleaned the mess up pretty good so that you couldn't tell anything had happened. When he was done and had deposited the paper towel in the trash, he turned to me. He pointed to the cupboard, nothing needed to be said. I nodded, by which time I was now clutching my head in agony. Yugi poured us both a glass of milk and found me some aspirin. Yah, he really can be a helper sometimes. I'll probably be up all night now with the caffeine but whatever…not that I care at the present moment.

We sipped our drink in silence for a moment or two before Yugi asked, "Did I wake you?"

"I heard a crash…" I trailed off. He looked down shamefully.

"I broke your salt-shaker. I'm sorry. I knocked into it with my elbow as I was getting to the fridge. I cleaned up the glass, just poked my finger a bit." I nodded, took another sip of my cold drink. It froze my lungs and I had to close my eyes to calm my head and heart.

"Why are you up?" I inquired.

"Thirsty…and I couldn't sleep."

"Anzu?"

He looked at me a little taken aback, but then he nodded his head down before sighing. He gulped down a tremendous amount of his milk in a single swallow and continued to empty his troubled mind onto me. By all means, I have no problems to sort out myself or anything so I'll just help you with yours, Yugi. Boy, am I a hypocrite or what? I long for help and feel reluctant to give it. Dammit, Kujaku! Get _over_ yourself!

"It's just…" Yug grew even more restless, "I can't stop thinking about her and I don't feel like going back to Domino without her. It just…wouldn't feel right. I miss her already and I don't know how I'm supposed to just go on while she's away…Mai!"

"Hmm?"

"W-what am I supposed to d-do?"

_You're supposed to shut up and leave her to be lonely because maybe she left for a reason and she was just following her dream even if I meant giving up seeing your smile everyday and your funny golden hair and brown eyes…_

"Follow her, Yugi."

He looked at me, dumbstruck. I was a little at myself, but I didn't dare show it.

"I _want _to go follow her!" he exasperated. "I _want _to go to Toronto and stay with her until her movie's done. But, would Jou 'n everyone else understand? It would be like abandoning him and everyone and I don't want to do that. Mai, what should I do?"

_Don't leave everyone and become heartless…like I did._

"Follow her, Yugi." He laughed a nervous type of laughter.

"That simple, huh?"

"Yes." I held no expression in my voice.

"Are you kidding?"

"What do you think?"

He was silent a while, considering. Suddenly, he began talking to himself with growing energy. "…can I go? It'll only be a couple months. I can leave and then come back home with her if she wants to go home or maybe we'll stay in the states for awhile I'm sure she wouldn't mind me hanging around then I'll call Jou to tell him and Shizuka and _omigosh!_"

Yugi was getting more and more excited by the second. Hyper-mode took over and soon he was thanking me up a storm. I figured hell with it and I gave Yug a hug. He laughed, saying now he wouldn't be able to get to sleep for a totally different reason! He'd leave the day after tomorrow and––

The day after tomorrow.

The day after this night came to pass, he was going to leave me and I'd be alone again. Is that how it's meant to be? All alone while the days pass by endlessly, leading nowhere?

Oh…my headache…

Yugi…Yugi why is it getting darker and darker?

…Yu…gi…?

-

Yugi told me the next morning that I'd passed out. I don't remember exactly…I just know that I was falling into the darkness within. I blamed it on me being tired, Yug blamed it on stress, and that was that. By morning it was forgotten, or at least I hoped. The conversation probably wasn't though, but Yug won't be around long enough anymore to pursue anything to _that_ end. Doesn't matter.

Yugi bought his tickets on the phone by the time I woke up. I spent the last day I had with him touring a small section of the downtown area, my treat. Yug bought me a salt shaker in one of the shops. He really can be a sweetheart when he wants to. It was amazing the way time passed so quickly. Before I knew it, the time for his departure came. And so, here I am, sitting in the lobby with Yugi and his suitcase. Yugi said I didn't have to wait with him for the plane, but I did. I knew Yugi wanted me to anyway.

"Does Anzu know you're coming?" I asked him. Yugi shook his head, grinning secretively.

"I want to surprise her," he beamed. I nodded, now completely out of conversational material. Just then the intercom went on. It spoke some weird thing in Spanish before announcing the flights.

"Now boarding! Flight 896 Toronto, Canada now boarding!" Yugi got up and grabbed a hold of his suitcase. I stood up too, preparing to say goodbye. My insides were killing me. I hate goodbyes. Honestly, I really do.

"Mai…" Yug gave me a hug. "It was really nice to see ya. Thanks for your advice and everything."

"Anytime," I heard myself say. I tried to sound enthusiastic, but it wasn't working very well. "Thanks for coming to see me."

"I promise to keep in touch." I nodded back to him generally. I'm _so _sure. Remember me with a card or a letter…something quick and snappy because every once in a while someone remembers I'm here in America. One more thing they have to _deal _with. Whatever. Dammit now I'm pissed off.

"Mai," Yugi reached into his suitcase for something, interrupting my very rude thoughts. "There's one last thing."

Huh? One last thing? What one last thing? Why the hell is this coming up now?! What am I doing, being so mean? Once Yugi is gone, I'll have all the time in the world to think up comments. I'd better stop it. What if Yugi starts worrying about me again before he leaves? I can't have that.

I gave a sigh, putting on this smile that made my cheeks hurt. I was trying to convince Yugi I'd be fine. Just fine.

Yugi finally handed over from his backpack a little box wrapped in pale green wrapping paper with silver tinsel all over it spelling out "Merry Christmas." The red bow on top was smushed, but that was okay I guess. I took it, stunned, into my one trembling hand. A thought struck me and I casually asked Yugi if it was a pepper shaker to go with my new salt one he'd bought me. He laughed.

"No, this one's a Christmas present from Jou. I promised him I'd give it to you on Christmas, but it turns out I won't be staying here that long ha ha."

My heart stopped. I swear it did.

"It's…it's from Jou?" I asked. Yugi smiled, nodding. Now my heart was pounding incredibly fast. I didn't know whether to thank Yugi or shoot him for not telling me up until now. I resided on the thanking him. I greedily sat down and put all my attention on opening the package. After peeling away the decorated paper and cardboard box top, there was a dazzling crystal necklace with a violet gem centered in the middle. I was breathless and I didn't know what to say. I turned to Yugi, about to tell him to take it back because I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve to be on Jou's mind at all.

"He worked _so _hard to afford it," Yug told me before I could speak. "He said he wanted to see the expression on your face when you opened it, but he didn't have enough money left for a trip here…plus with Shizuka getting sick and all. See? He's never really far from you."

I looked at Yugi again, realizing I could _never _do away with such a gift, and gave him a huge hug. Then I had to choke back my tears because I couldn't stand to see Yugi see me cry. He let me go and put his suitcase strap across his shoulder. He began to slowly walk away.

"Anything he would have gotten me I would have loved!" I assured Yugi while he was still in earshot. My cheeks were hot and I felt so dizzy. Yug turned around a last time, side-smiling.

"I know," he said. And then he disappeared into the crowds of people heading towards the airway gates. I looked down at my gift and stared at it with the most incredibly weird feeling settled in my stomach. I…I never got him anything. The thought never even occurred to me to get him a Christmas present at all. I've got to be the most selfish person in the world.

I covered the necklace back over with the box cover and then the un-ripped half of the wrapping paper. After that, I just cried into my hands. Cried and cried in the middle of the airport lobby, but no one really saw. No one really cared. I could have been surrounded by a million people; I was still all alone. And the only thing going through my head was _why did I leave?_

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A/N: I've only submitted one chapter this time because it was a little lengthier than the others. I was originally going to cut off right before you found out what the gift was, so I'm being merciful today (haha, just kidding). There's still more! Please keep reviewing! Thank you!!


	11. Silhouette

Author's Note: I love you! That's all I wanted to say :) I love you because you have taken time out of your day to read my fic and that alone earns you my review-hungry-soul's appreciation :) Thank you!

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I walked home alone because, once again, I had no money on me for another cab ride. I didn't even think of taking the subway until I was quite a ways from the station, so I settled on walking. It got really cold suddenly about half-way home. Home? No, I guess you can't really call it that.

Snow began falling in these huge flakes children try to catch in their mouths and little eyelashes. I remember the big snow that came just like this when I was little…but I was always looking at it from the inside. I never got to go out and play. Never played. Never smiled. Maybe you saw me. I was the little blonde girl in the fancy blue dress staring out the bay window from the huge mansion hidden behind the trees. No one ever saw me. Not even my parents.

Its not that they were blind so-to-speak, they were just always too big making their truckloads of money to pay attention to their only child. They thought hiring nannies would do good to keep me out of their hair, but the nannies thought I was a quiet child because I was spoiled. They treated me like a snob and ignored me, too. I hated them. I hated them all. It still surprises me that they even noticed when I left home.

I got a call from my father shortly after I left. He didn't call to get me back; he called to say that any processions I had on me that belonged to him were to be returned. A couple days later, I found out my bank account had been wired and that I now only had a couple hundred to my name. My parents have not in any way tried to contact me since then. I didn't bother trying. I'm sure their happier not paying for nanny hours and whatnot.

I went out into the world alone because no one was my friend. To survive, I became independent. Took that job on a casino-owned cruise ship. To survive…but not to live. I didn't learn to live until Duelist Kingdom. Until I met someone with an even worse family situation and yet still _living_ everyday in his non-self-reliant type of happiness. A selfish versus selfless attitude on the way things were, and I was the selfish one.

Did I take that away––that way of looking at things––when I left? Did me being there bring a bit more happiness, but then I stole it away? Why did I come here again? I don't remember anymore… Did I run away? Did I get scared?

"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" I muttered to myself, hitting the sides of my head with my hands. I forgot I still held the box with my necklace and jabbed myself in the head with the box corner. I cursed harshly, scaring a few boys who were passing in the opposite direction. They continued walking and started repeating some of my choice words. Their mothers are sure to be in for a surprise.

I was on my street already and I hadn't even noticed. I need to get a grip, honestly! I have to remember who and where I am. I can't lose it now. I have to stop thinking of my past and focus on––

"Hey, Kujaku," a voice said to me from behind. I was suddenly aware I was in the apartment building near the stairs. I guess I was too lost in thought. I turned to see the normally silent Rick behind his desk, book aside. I walked over to him, leaning across his counter like I always did. Usually Rick has his nose behind a book or a newspaper, but now his attention was fixated on me. Kinda gives me a scare, to be honest.

"A Mr. Antonio called for you while you were away," he said. "Says you've lost your last chance and to not bother coming into work tomorrow. He found a replacement." I sighed, not caring anymore. I would have quit anyway. Yah, sure.

"Do you mind coming into my office?" Rick asked me, standing up from his squeaky blue chair. I said sure, a little surprised. I followed him through the glass door near his sitting place, the one with the bells atop it that jingle every time you move them. It seemed to me their tired jingles were their only way of expressing their sympathies to someone as pathetic as I. _God_, I _am_ paranoid, aren't I?

His office was messy and unkempt. A layer of dust had risen from the surfaces of the bookshelf and desk. I sat down in a small leather chair as Rick sat in the office seat behind the desk in front of me. There was only one other time we were ever in these positions and that was when I'd first negotiated renting my apartment room. I noticed for no reason at all that Rick's mustache was very, very thin.

"Mai…" Rick looked straight at me. "You're a nice young woman. You've caused no problems during your stay here except some late rent. You've even babysat Helen when I needed you to. You're a very thoughtful person, too, for always remembering my daughter when you buy treats and otherwise. For her, it's all I could wish to keep her mind off her mother––"

_Wow!_ This is the _longest_ string of thought I've ever heard out of this guy! I hope I'm not in any kind of trouble…

"––but you're the one who seems to need to get your mind off of something. Tell me; you've always helped me, may I help you? If there's something so on your mind, will you confide in me?"

My mouth woulda been gaping open if I hadn't remembered to be polite. Am I looking so depressed _Rick_ has to say something about it? What happened to the so-independent-I-don't-need-anyone Mai I'd been back in Duelist Kingdom? I know what happened to her. What happened was Jou…and his friends that continually changed every aspect of my life. Now that I'm on my own again…I'm so…empty…

"R-Rick," my voice began to falter. "I'm so…s-so alone…" Tears began welling in my eyes for the millionth time. Dammit! I tried covering them up, but more came. I don't want to have a mental breakdown here in front of my apartment manager! Mai Kujaku doesn't cry! She's tough; she can deal with anything and come out on top! Shit happens! NYC's the toughest city in the U.S. and I can conquer it!

And, yet, here I am crying into a cheap leather chair in a little apartment office because I'm too lonely for words.

"You are never alone," Rick told me, handing me some Kleenex. I wiped my eyes and settled down enough to digest his words. When I blew my nose the dust from the desk went flying in the lamplight and glimmered. Rick's words sounded simple enough, but I didn't believe them for a second. Rick continued.

"Mai, I know what you miss. I go to my room every night to my little daughter who forgets a little more each day of what her dear mother looked like. I thought I was alone, too. But, you see, even after I lost my wife, I promised myself I'd do anything it took to give Helen a good life without the loneliness that dwelled within me. As long as I have her, there's a reason for me to go on; a reason to _live_. If you don't have that same drive or motivation, you may have lost it back when you were in Japan."

My eyes grew wide as I stared at Rick in surprise as if he knew. He's right, though. My goals in life had always been wrong. In duelist kingdom it was money, jewels, fame. Folly. Battle City was all about showing how independent I was and how I didn't need any friends. Foolish thought. It was Jounouchi who nearly got himself _killed_ trying to save me because I didn't listen to him in the first place. Same thing in the first virtual world. And what did I do to repay him? I left him; left them all. Why? Why?! Was Yugi's bravery to get on that plane greater than my act to stay here in America?

I stood up, tissue pressed against my weary eyes. My legs were weak, but I found my balance as I walked. I threw the Kleenex away and faced my counselor.

"Rick-sama, I cannot express in words what your concern means to me…" It was the first time I'd used a Japanese name honorific since I'd left. I don't even know if Rick knows what it means.

He just nodded, waving me off saying, "I know you are tired. Go on to your room. Would you like to talk tomorrow?" I smiled a bit. A real smile of hope.

"I'd like that very much." And I bowed my head before I left.

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A/N: No, that's not the end, silly! Next chap up soon. I understand there's not a lot of action in this one, but it's still important. Mai is given more humanity in this chapter…I like this section because it shows her looking for hope in her life, like a turning point. The next few chapters are FAST-PACED GUNG-HO ACTION!!! HAHAHA!! But enough of my ramblings…please review :)


	12. Smoking Inferno

I walked up to my apartment room quietly, but not so much in thought as I had been on the way there. It was if talking to Rick had helped some. I hadn't felt this relieved in quite a while…and no liquor was involved, either. That's not really saying much though. Drinking usually gets me even more depressed. That's why I don't do it anymore. Bad habit if you asked me. Addicting too, but whatever. I gave it up after…nevermind.

I rummaged through my purse idly as I looked for my keys. As usual they were at the very bottom where I could barely flex my fingers to get at. Isn't that where they always go? The way end of your purse underneath all the other junk you carry around; right where you don't want it. What's the deal? Is there some magnet only attracting to your keys that somehow drags them into the depths of…_wow_. I really do need some sleep, don't I? I'm arguing over… nevermind.

I walked in slowly, throwing my coat and purse off and onto the couch. I took off my shoes and placed them to the side of the door because I was too lazy to carry them off into my room. Hello dear room, my silent prison cell! What, no return greeting? Be that way. Maybe tonight I'll just sleep on the couch and––

Oh my God.

That smell…

_What is that smell?_

I sniffed at the air suspiciously. It smells like smoke; like fire! I ran over to the kitchen to check the stove. Then I ran to the control panel for the furnace and the heater. Everything was off and the heater wasn't malfunctioning. But that smell…it's still here…where is it coming from? Surely there isn't a fire outside, is there? From a neighboring apartment?

I turned around and stared at the door in fear, expecting a swat team of firefighters to come in suddenly and take me away. Ha! What would I have then if this little place were to be destroyed? I'd have…empty memories. Just empty nothing.

I walked over to the door to look out the peep-hole to check that there weren't mobs of people running around the hallway screaming "Fire!" I only got as far as the edge of the dining table when I saw it:

A half-lit cigarette smoking on the rug.

Then I knew.

I was too late. I couldn't be saved after all.

Emerging from my room came the darkest shadow of my fear. My life drained out of me as the dry voice of my demise spoke with wet lips:

"What's shakin', baby? Didja miss me?"

Jorge inhaled deeply from the new cigarette that was in his mouth, smiling like the devil himself. The gray smoke slipped out between his teeth as if the inside of his mouth was made of fire, ready to consume.

There was…no way. This can't be happening.

For God sake's Mai, _get out__ of here_

I made an instantaneous break for the door, but I had taken my shoes off and my socks slipped on the hard wood floor, sending me flying. I tripped on the opposite end of the rug as I stumbled forward and crash-landed on the arm-rest of the couch before slumping down to the floor. My head, having gotten the full blunt of the fall, felt like it had split open and I knew I couldn't take this anymore. God, please, stop it all! Please! Make him disappear. Please, let this all be another nightmare. _Make it go away!! I can't take it!! I can't!!_

Jorge stood over me with his greasy black hair and beady eyes, oblivious to my dire thoughts. Terror seized my heart and I couldn't breathe as he reached out to me. On second thought he drew it back and laughed hideously. With a heavy heart I watched dazedly as he locked the door to the hall. Won't someone please scream "Fire!" now? Won't someone come to take me away now? Please?

Jou. Jou I'm so, _so _sorry.

If I should die tonight, please…please forgive me.

"Don't want any more interruptions now do we, baby?" Jorge said to me. "I still haven't forgiven you for that deal at the airport. That was naughty, toots. Very naughty. You'll have to pay for that one. I told you way back last Christmas that you'd be mine, but you didn't believe me then did you? Did you, Mai?"

I opened my mouth to speak, to scream, but my throat closed. The pain pulsing through my head reached its climax. I prayed the angel of death find pity on me. Just take me away from this moment. Just reach out and carry me away from the little jail cell and make me free of my captivity…the captivity I have held on myself for so long.

What would Jounouchi think, finding me here dead on my apartment floor? Would he cry? Would he remember me? Would he take a look at me and say 'that's not the Mai I knew.' I'm not the Mai before. I'm not even a shadow of her because I let myself drift away. And now I need someone to bring me back. Please…please…won't you…won't you…?


	13. The Final Nightmare

Where am I?

What is that light?

Am I dead?

No. No, I still feel pain.

Where am I?

Is that…snow? It's snowing so softly, but it's different somehow. It's not the same as outside because it's…it's…

How did I get back to _this_ night? Why am I here? The images…the sounds…everything is so vivid. The darkness is clearer than water. It feels exactly like it did that one night…was it merely a year ago? Those bells…I know those distant bells! It's the Salvation Army on the streets gaining money for the poor Christmas-less children. And the snow…so big and fluffy…is this real?

A shrill laugh split the air, causing me to whirl around. I suddenly realized I was back in Central Park. A stumbling, drunken figure was approaching me from underneath a small bridge with a large bottle grasped in one hand. The laughter followed a few hiccups which were remedied by another drink. The moonlight danced on the snow and reflected on the stranger's face.

It was me.

I screamed in surprise, but my dream––my nightmare––did not permit me a voice. Fog did not even appear after my every breath. I was the ghost. What's the deal? Am I suddenly in the merciless clutches of the Ghost of Christmas' Past or something? How do I make it go away?

I watched, transfixed, as my former self guzzled down more of her booze and slipped on some ice to clumsily fall face-first into a nearby snow-pile. No one else was around. I was laughing maniacally because I was obviously too drunk to realize I was freezing my ass off. The snow turned a deep auburn color where the beer bottle fell. Someone began singing Christmas carols way off in the distance.

"_Joy to the world, the Lord has come. Let earth receive her King…"_

I watched with rising anger and disgust as my other self began to slur the words as she tried to sing along. "Joy to wurrrrh…has come'd….recievahhhhhh…"

"You've got a nice voice, toots!"

No! No, please not this! Run away! Get away from that shadow with the bottomless eyes! No, don't listen to him! Even now, in my mind, I was desperately trying to get my former self, my past self, away from him but nothing worked. You cannot change the past.

The Mai I once was looked up at Jorge with mild interest. It was now that I noticed the ice forming on my eyelashes from when I had been crying; a first since I had been very young. There was a name tag on my coat and I suddenly remembered why I had been so depressed that night. I had blown all my money and had been fired from my first waitressing job.

There's nowhere welcome among the unwanted because there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.

"C'mon, baby," the shadow cooed at me. Me?! Me––where is the old me? When did I change back? No! No I won't go with you! My vision doubled, no doubt an effect of the alcohol. Jorge reached out for me. I could feel him pick me up and help me to walk along. I did not struggle. I had no control over my body at all. Jorge puffed at his cigarettes as he led me out of Central Park and out onto the street. We walked until I didn't know where we were anymore; I only knew it was fully of alleys. I couldn't stop and I can't see where we're going. Suspicious figures passed me by, but I couldn't focus in on them.

In the darkest of the alleys Jorge finally stopped and sat me down.

_Wake-up!__ Wake-up __dammit__! Don't go through this again! Get up! Run, run away and never look back at everything you're leaving behind! Run away forever!_

Wasting no time, Jorge kneeled down beside me and planted an angry, hungry kiss on me. It hurt! It tasted like a dirty ashtray. I-I can't breathe. I can feel him grabbing for me, finding me. I hear screams, but they're from far away. I want to scream too, but I know no one would hear me. Let me go! Please let me go! I don't _belong_ to you!

I-I feel taller. I'm st-standing now. Drunk or not, I still have some sense left in my body. And it's so cold…

"C'mon now, baby," Jorge advanced towards me again. "You're a mighty sweet thing. So, so sweet. Come over here now and I'll make the world disappear for you." He grabbed my arms. "And I'll make sure no one hurts ya. You belong to _me_ now."

No! No I don't! With terror I felt my legs move; felt them finally run away. I heard Jorge click his fingers and suddenly five large black thugs surrounded me from all sides. It was my first encounter with them. The nasty, ugly smell of cologne-bathed men filled my nostrils and made me lean over sideways and throw up on top of the snow. It was all my fault for it all. All my fault…

"Yo, chick," one of the thugs said, immediately grabbing my arms and pulling me up to his face. I was drowning in his spit as he talked. I tried to get away in pure repulsion. My stomach was spinning along with my head.

"Was wrong, miz pretti?" another one squeaked. The man holding me pushed me to him like some kind of football. "Too classy for us? Dawg!" I tried to get out of his grasp, but he was as strong as Jorge. What'd these guys do? All work out at the same gym or something?

"Haha homies!" the one with the eyelid piercing laughed. "She's tryin' to get away! Wheredya gotta go so fast, miss priss?" The rest of them laughed as if they had all heard some great joke. From behind I heard Jorge snap his fingers two times consecutively. The men let go of me and I fell the cold, cold ground with a loud _thud_.

I soon found the meaning of the "two clicks." The five guys lined up in front of me, as if they were in line for lunch at elementary school. The first guy––the one with the eyelid piercing––came up first. He kneeled down into my face.

"Fer the boss," he smiled. And just like that he ripped my two favorite white hoop earrings right out my ears. The pain was immeasurable! Blood poured out of my earlobes and stained the snow with drops of sin. I shrieked as the heat went to my head, but I couldn't hear it. My ears throbbed. Meanwhile, the next man came up to me.

"Fer the boss," he repeated. He grabbed my shoes and yanked them off, twisting me upside down in the process. The next man took my coat. I lay there helpless, shoeless, and now coatless. I shivered, hoping the cold would freeze away my feeling so I wouldn't have to deal with it all anymore. The next guy took my stockings and the last one my long scarf. Before I knew what was happening, I realized that Jorge was now standing in front of me. He was smiling, just as always. He placed his hands on my bare feet and inched his fingers up my legs.

"I'll be taking something directly, Mai," he said smoothly. He knew my name now from the tag that had been on my coat. He took his two hand and reached for my blouse. The first button came undone.

Then the second.

And that's when I heard it.

Sirens. Loud, squealing sirens.

Two points to the NYPD! Yessss!

I smiled in triumph as Jorge and his goons shifted away from me. The five-some ran, but Jorge lingered to stare at me with malice in his eyes that flickered with the fire of a madman.

"Wherever you go," he told me, "I will find you. If you ever give yourself up to another you will pay with much more than your life. When I call you, you will be there, because I _will_ find you."

And he slinked away into the darkness. The cops pulled up to investigate a murder over on the next block. At least I know who screamed before. The cops saw I was intoxicated and took me in for questioning. When I told them my story, they didn't believe me. Who would believe a drunk?

I was fined for some reason or another and it took a month's pay at a new job to pay it back. I watched my back everyday after that, afraid that he would come back. After awhile I figured I was okay; I was safe. It was only after I'd come back to my apartment every night and realize the truth…

My blouse is missing a few buttons from that night.

My sanity is missing a few friends from long ago.

My hell started there.


	14. Hostage

I sat straight up in terror. I hit the back of one of my kitchen chairs. It takes me several seconds to realize I'm tied up. True, un-relinquished fear held me tightly in its grasp. He tried to own me back last Christmas and he'd never given up. Th-the madman! In his mind I'm just property; a slave that had been caught after several attempts to run away.

"You awake sweet-cheeks?"

My time is up.

Jorge sat looking at me from atop the kitchen counter. In one hand he held a roll of duct tape and in another a new cigarette. Maybe I'll be lucky and he'll die of lung cancer before he even has a chance to do anything to me. What am I thinking? Shit!! I'm tied up with a madman! What am I going to do? No one can hear me scream! I'm...I'm…

I'm going to die.

"P-please," I began to cry. "Jorge, j-just let m-me go." Damn, buck up Kujaku! He'll see you're helpless and do something to show his power over you! But I can't make myself stop crying…damn! Damn damn! There has to be a way out. If Jou were here he would find a way out unscathed because he would believe he could! Why can't I do that, too?

"Ah, my Mai." Jorge advanced towards me; standing almost on top of me he was so close. "Don't look so sad. Look at me now, toots. Can't you see I'm trying to do you a favor?"

"By tying me up in my own apartment?" I cynically asked.

Without warning Jorge's fist came out of nowhere and hit my left cheek head on. I nearly fell out of the chair from the sheer force and my whole jaw began to ache. More tears came down my cheeks even though I cursed at them to go away. I spat out blood on the ground. My teeth felt out of place.

"Don't interrupt your man!" he charged at me. "What has this ungrateful city ever done for you? What has it ever given you toots? Huh? Heartbreak! Sadness! Loneliness! Tell me I'm wrong."

I was silent.

My jaw hurt.

And he was right.

"You don't have to make this difficult," Jorge's voice suddenly changed its tone. I got that creeping feeling on my neck; the same I used to get when dueling and I could tell someone was cheating. "I can take you away from here. I'll take you away so there's no one else and we can hit the road like…who where those two, the famous couple? Oh yeah! Like Bonnie and Clyde. We'll be on the run from everything! How does that sound to you Mai?"

Oh my God. He's going to abduct me. I'm a nobody. There wouldn't even be a missing persons report on my account. Nobody would know. No one'd ever see me again. I'd be dead to the world, more so than I already am. I can't let that happen. I may never see anyone…never see Jou…again.

"Why won't you just leave me alone?" I choked out amid my tears. They slid into my mouth and I tasted their bitter and saltiness. Jorge's face turned into an angry frown. In one swing he unveiled a small knife and cut me from my imprisonment. He then grabbed my arm––the same he'd hurt before––and lifted me upward in front of him against my will. He kissed me; the same hungry, lustful kiss he'd planted on me a year ago. His hands went everywhere. It felt like he was taking my heart and smashing it. He bit my bottom lip just as I wrenched free of his hold and spit onto the floor numerous times. Ashtray. I swear I just sucked up a wet ashtray.

I have to get out!

Free for just the moment, I made a dash for the door again. I screamed. I finally screamed hoping that someone would find me and save me. Suddenly I felt a hot tugging sensation from my skull and it broke out into feverish pain. Jorge grabbed a hold of my hair and pushed me once more down to the ground. I screamed some more, but he just slapped me again. My lungs stopped taking in air.

I'm ready to give-up now. I can't really take it. Jou, forgive me…

"Oi! Toots! What the hell is this?"

I looked up, red in the face in exasperation, and saw what he held in his hands. Jorge was holding pale green wrapping paper with white tinsel. It was covering a box that was etched with the words "Merry Christmas." That box…that's the present that came from Jou!

That's Jou's Christmas present to me! That's _my _present!

"Give me that!" I shrieked, filled with new energy. I tried to grab it back, but Jorge just pushed me away.

"It must be good if you want to keep it from me!" he exclaimed. He lifted the box lid, revealing the gorgeous crystal necklace with the violet gem in the middle that sparkled so elegantly in the light. It almost looked like diamonds with that "the heart of the ocean" jewel from Titanic in the middle. Seconds later it was being handled by Jorge with his filthy, dirt covered hands. His eyes were going over it again and again. I can see the dollar signs in them now.

"You **can't** have it!!" I shouted louder than before. I successfully took it from his this time and clutched it tightly to my heart. I felt it start to beat again. It held my heart; a small piece. I wouldn't let anyone take it from me. Jou gave me this. I owe him so much and he still thought to get me a Christmas present I won't let you take it! Never!

"That's enough Mai. Game's over."

I heard a loud clicking sound that gave the impression of two metal pieces rubbing against each other. I finally turned back, necklace still held tightly in my palms against my chest. Jorge had a gun cocked straight at me, barrel looking straight into my eyes; down to my soul where I was lost in darkness. Jorge himself appeared calm and demanding, holding out his left hand. He still wanted my necklace.

"C'mon babes. What's yours is mine, right? I need that kind of money for the tools we'll need to hotwire some cars to get out of here. You do want to get out of this city, right? Then hand it over."

I stood there, unmoving. My body knew only one command: hold on to that box. Do not let go of that box. Dammit I'm so stubborn it's going to literally be the end of me.

Jounouchi I'm going to die now. Jounouchi I wish I could see you one last time. Don't cry for me, okay? Please don't cry when I die because I'll cry, too. Goodbye…

"I said fork it over bitch!" And he pulled the trigger. I clenched up as the loud, deafening shot rang out in echoes inside of my head. I screamed as if there was no tomorrow (was there one?)

Then I blinked a couple of times. When's the pain coming? Was I hit? What the––? Jorge aimed for the ceiling?! Is that some type of warning shot? Next shot won't be so lucky.

Dear God, forgive us our sins we are only human and know not what we do oh God please protect Jou and his sister and friends because I don't want to make them sad anymore and I'm just gonna become another NYC murder or homicide or whatever victim statistic and then maybe I'll be on the news for the daily killings and

"Hey! Is everything okay in there! Miss Kujaku?"

That voice. From the door. Rick.

"Rick! Rick help—!" Jorge quickly ran over to me and slapped my head with the blunt of the gun, sending me sideways. The room tilted and I thought I was a goner again, but I held on. I have to hold on for a little while longer. If I get out of here I'll go back to Japan and find Jou and…and…and beg forgiveness even though it will never happen as I die right now…

"Is this Rick a friend of yours, then?" I heard Jorge yelling at me. I didn't respond. I heard the gunshots go through the door. I heard a scream, too. It takes me several seconds to realize Rick could have been on by the door that is now in pieces.

"Rick! Rick oh my God!"

Jorge stopped firing. I heard Rick shuffle to the side. I-I hear him walking in the hallway! Thank God! Thank God I think he's okay! Oh God please let me die now so I don't have to think about––

"Mai! Don't worry! I'll getcha outta dere!"

What? Nani?!?! Who said that?

…!

That…that's impossible…it can't be…!

"We're _leaving __**now!**_" Jorge picked me up and shoved me into the window. He undid the latch, trying to access the fire escape. I shoved him away, but he pulled me back with enough force to knock out a pro wrestler. The latch finally came off and a freezing wind came in. My breath shortened in that one second.

But…that voice…was it…?

"Quit **stalling!**" I felt another yank into the window and I nearly fell in. I dropped my beloved violet necklace onto the hardwood ground as I hunched over. I won't go! I slipped my socks on the floor between Jorge's legs and slid under and then behind him. His arm couldn't twist that way and he had to let me go. His eyes flashed with a void of anger at me as I tried to get up. He was way too pissed off now.

"You're dead!" he called out as if a rallying cry. He picked up his gun, aimed it at me. I didn't have any time. It was all for nothing. I want to see him…

I expected a bang. A blast. A large, surging amount of bloody pain to take over me. No herald of angels for me…

Instead of a gunshot there was colossal crash as my door busted open from the outside. Both Jorge and I turned our heads to the right to see it fall to the ground. The dust cleared and the debris could be seen in a pile where my front door used to be. I'll need to call a repairman. Haha…they'll also need a janitor to slop up my guts off the floor once I'm gone and…

…there, standing in the light, was Katsuya Jounouchi.

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A/N: So I hoped you'd forgive me for not posting for so long if I posted three chapters at once…but I still left you with the cliffhanger (or rather, the beginning of the action). Fourteen chapters in and Jounouchi finally makes his grand arrival! New chaps up soon, this time I mean it XD


	15. Put You Back in Yesterday

A/N: A super special awesome thank you to darkrunner for giving such great reviews that make me smile :) Thanks for being honest about the chapters. I can't know what sucks if people don't tell me, and it's a great chance for me to improve, so I really appreciate it! I hope the rest is good…I read through more of it and found a lot of weak parts I'd like to change (like more action in the butt-kicking), but decided to leave it in its original context for now… Anyway, many glomps to darkrunner and everyone else kind enough to read/review! Also, thanks for forgiving me for not updating until a month at a time (my life is quite busy).

And now, without further ado, the final three chapter of _Far From You_ (hey…that rhymed…)

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He was standing there in a black suit with his hair all messed up as usual. His eyes were a pinpoint of anger centered on my captor. He was positioned into a fighting stance with his arms out with his fists. His shoes squeaked on the floor where he walked because they must have been new.

Jounouchi is standing right in front of me. Jou is right _there!!_

I heard Jorge click his gun again. My neck snapped as I looked back at him as if realizing he was here all over again. His gun was aimed at my head. It shifted to the right in some type of slow motion. He headed the barrel straight for Jounouchi. He put his finger on the trigger. A smirk started across his face and that's when all acknowledgements for my own life went down the tubes.

"_**Nooo**__" _I shrieked, running up and jumping on top of Jorge to stop the gunfire. Everything in the world he could take, even the crummy necklace.

But he can't have Jounouchi.

He can't have _my_ Jounouchi.

The gun went off anyway where Jou's head would have been…but it was a blank. Nothing. Jorge was out of bullets. The cheap ass son of a bitch hadn't loaded his gun all the way! Jou was saved!

Jounouchi stood there a second, a little confused, but in the thankful realization that I had tried to save his life. He took his fighter's type of stance and ran over to me as fast as he could. Jorge sat up, grabbed the back of my hair again where it still stung, and before anything was clear again we were standing close to each other again with Jorge's small knife held across my throat.

"You take another step and she dies!" Jorge warned.

Jou's glance went from him to me. He looked at me with the very brink of endless pain in his chocolate-colored eyes. Oh, Jou, don't look at me. I don't deserve it. Jou, please take me back to the simpler times when I could laugh with you…Jou…

Jorge noticed my mumbling of tears and pulled my head up more to his.

"Who's this boy, Mai?" he interrogated me by whispering harshly into my ear. He took his one hand and stroked my face like I was a doll. I head Jou growl as he touched me. "Is this an old friend? Is this an old boyfriend? What haven't you been telling me, toots? If you ever gave yourself up to another I told you I'd kill you…and him, too."

"It don' matter who I am, punk!" Jou interjected. "Let Mai go or I'll clean your clock so bad I'll put you back in yesterday!"

Inside I felt my heart give the faintest smile. Besides he's protecting me…he still has his corny humor. I miss it so badly. Thank you Jounouchi, for letting me hear it one last time. I'll be gone soon. You can't move and hurt me. You don't want to risk my life. Aw, Jou, you play the hero so well. Goodbye…

"Hi-ya!" I cried with my last ounce of energy. I kicked my foot backwards into Jorge's balls as hard as I could. He screamed like a prissy little girl and crumpled down and forward. The blade of his knife skimmed my skin and I felt the blood start to flow.

"Mai!" I heard Jou cry out in fear as Jorge collapsed. He…he talked to me. That's great.

I ran forward blindly clutching my throat. Jou came towards me, but I was so afraid. I bent down to the ground and grabbed my necklace off the ground from where it had fallen out of the box and continued to race down into the hallway. Rick stood there waiting for me there in the hall with the most worried look on his face. I collapsed into his arms as he tried to comfort me. I needed a friend so badly.

"Mai! Your neck!" Rick-sama turned me around. I'm alive. Am I really still alive? How can this be?

"Thank God the blade only grazed you. Here, put this cloth on it. Are you okay? Mai! Look!!"

I peered through the door of what once was my apartment. Jou and the newly-revived Jorge were duking it out with their fists. Now they were wrestling to get a-hold of the knife. Jorge got it. No! Jou don't get cut! Jorge swung the blade crazily until he finally managed to strike at Jou's hands. One of his fingers turned into a hot dog doused with fiery ketchup. Jou punched the knife out of Jorge's hand and they're exchanging blows. Jou dodged the first swing and hit Jorge in the stomach. Yes! Another dodge! Jou took both fists and jammed them into Jorge's face. Jorge's eyes rolled up in his head and he's down! Jou got him with one helluva good punch! He's down! He's out! He's––

Gone.

Jorge is…_gone._


	16. Dizzy

I'm not sure who called the cops, probably Rick or maybe some neighbor who heard one of the gunshots. Whatever. All of sudden a whole cabaret of them were there. They put me in one corner of the room and Jou in another to question the hell out of us. They took Jorge away with his now bloody, unconscious face. He wasn't smiling anymore. He's gone. Thank God, he's gone. Amen Alleluia!

I lay huddled in a corner where a dorky-looking newbie police officer was interrogating me. My head was spinning and all I could hear was this guy blabbing. A white and beige bandage had been wrapped around my neck and I felt the muscles under it stiffen. The cop was muttering questions this, third degree that…all I got was a headache and deep feeling that was swelling inside me. What was it? Why can't I cry now?

When he finally left I felt like ripping all the police officer's heads off for being such assholes about bothering me. I wanted all of them to go away. Leave me alone…leave me…leave me? I'm going insane, I just know it. Jou––!

I looked around to the other side of my apartment and saw Jou being investigated as well. He looked up for an eye-blink of second and locked eyes with me. I felt totally unawares, like I didn't know what on earth to do. It was if he saw down my soul where he lit up some dim light and knew everything in the course of half a second. When the moment was gone and he looked away I felt so…so…?

"Miss Kujaku?" I looked up to see a different officer upon me.

I looked up from a haze. "Y-Yeah?"

"We're gonna need you to come to the station with us."

My vision blurred and I couldn't concentrate. "The…the s-station?"

"We're taking you downtown for protection. You're hurt and we also need the story fresh in your mind of what happened."

"But I just _told_ you what happened!" I whined. I tried to stand up, but my energy was drained of performing such a feat. I got really dizzy again.

The cop just ignored me. "I understand that, but we still need you to come downtown with us." Baka! What a baka!

"But, I––"

"Walters!" One of the higher deputies tapped the man on the shoulder. "We don't need her to come in tonight. She's been through enough. Besides! We have her story down so we'll go on now. We'll interrogate the suspect as soon as he regains consciousness. The young man in the corner punched him one good." He looked at me and tipped his dark blue hat. "First thing tomorrow, though, miss. 10th district Station, got it? Wait for our call."

I nodded my head slowly. I felt drugged, but also thankful. At least there are some courteous people left in this world, right?

Some men took photos, but even they were all gone within minutes. I looked down as they left because I couldn't stand to see all of their marble faces looking at me. Pitying me. I almost didn't realize everyone was gone until I saw Jou was just standing across from me. _Standing _across from me. Standing…right here…why is that so hard for me to believe? Oh! I get it! It's a nightmare…a dream. All I have to do is reach out and he won't be there. Ha ha; pull one on old Kujaku didja think? Well I'll show you––

"Mai?"

Mai? Am I Mai? Did I become someone else? Did I disappear and reemerge a different soul? Do I deserve to be remembered as Kujaku?

"…Mai?"

_Am I going crazy? God, please help me!_

A soft whooshing sound passed by my ears, shocking me back into reality. Jou had pulled me up to my feet from my lonely corner in the dark. He wasn't forceful like Jorge. He held me up with a soft kind of care. He stood there, hands on my shoulders tenderly, just staring at me. I stared back, breaking down, unsure of everything that I was. I didn't want to believe. All he did was stare at me with those concerned chocolate eyes. I melted straight into them.

"Are you okay?"

No.

No, I'm not.

It was like seeing him for the very first time. Katsuya Jounouchi is standing here right in front of me. Jorge is gone. After all the bitter unknowing, Jou is here. Even after what I did, Jou came. I don't want to be who I am anymore! I want to be free! I want to break free! I want to scream and shout and not have to be here anymore! I want to cry out why I have a reason to go on!! I won't let the feeling stay in my heart anymore! I want––

**"**_Jounouchi____**"** my voice finally obeyed my will as the tears came. I stood on my own and wrapped my arms around Jou without another moment's thought. The pain, the insecurity, and the memories of anger were all erased when I felt him put his arms around me too. I watched dizzily as the world spinned away and I didn't want it back, not anymore._

So, so comfortable. He's so warm. That beat; his heart. I feel it. He still has a heart, even after his hurt as well. Even after I left him his heart still beats. He's stronger than me. He always has been, and…yet…he's hanging onto me as dearly as I am to him. And his heart is still beating. I think mine stopped a long time ago but––

––has he been keeping mine as well?

New hot tears stung my eyes and I buried my face in Jou's shoulder and cried. He didn't seem to mind, he simply stroked my hair. Over and over until my tears felt as if they were all used up. I didn't ever want to cry again. Never again. But now I'd do it everyday if it meant having him stroke my hair. Having him so close…

Jounouchi, can you hear me? Do you know how much I'm complete right now? Do you know how much I'd do to keep this moment forever right now? Do you know how much––

"––I love you."

I didn't even realize I said it. Jou stopped moving, stopped breathing. I swear to the day his heart stopped beating, but that's me exaggerating again. He pushed me away to look at me, never saying a thing. I forced myself to look into his face. His eyes were quivering and his mouth was moving, but there was no sound. I lay my whole heart and soul onto the line. Here lay either my future or my destruction. Which will it be, Jounouchi?

But he didn't say anything.


	17. Flying Free

A/N: corny titles FTW!!!!

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"Jou?" I touched his arm. He looked at me blankly, still at a loss for any words. Jou, always the one who can't keep his mouth shut, can't echo a sound. I feel that sinking feeling again. I don't know what's happening. Jou, why are your eyes quivering? Why are you suddenly mute? It was all because of me, I know that now, but please…please…

_Say something!_

". . ."

I stood straight, removing myself from Jou's touch. I don't know whether to jump out the window or what. I feel the world crashing down on me. What have I done?!

"I-Is it that hard to believe?" I started sniffling again, losing it. "Have I been gone too long? I can't be alone…I mean I don't want to be…Jou can you take me…but I need something…oh, God, _please_, I'm _sorry_ I never meant to hurt––"

"Mai!"

I stared at him. He was smiling with eyes full of glittering lights. He was wiping away my tears; wiping away the years. I feel like I'm that little girl, the little Mai Kujaku sitting at the window looking at a wide, wide world that she could only look at and not touch.

"Come back wit me."

I stared wide eyed at him, suddenly aware how _truly _scared I was. A sudden uncanny feeling swept over me of lost independence; wanting to say I could handle it out on my own but I knew I couldn't.

I was speechless. My voice was a million miles away and I couldn't call it back. What could I say? What was there to say? It's been over a year since I've seen Jou and yet when I look at him it seems like yesterday we were together back in Battle City and the VR world and in Duelist Kingdom…_geeze!_ I was with him _all_ the time, wasn't I? Why didn't I stay? Was it just that I was afraid?

Maybe I figured it would hurt less if I lost him on purpose rather than try and love him only to find I'd lose him anyway. But I think I only made the pain worse.

"Jounouchi…I…"

"Mai, please listen ta me," he stopped me. He looked so determined now, as if ready to prove something. "This place is too dangerous! We all need ya back in Japan…especially me…" His face turned red. He isn't used to being this open with anyone, I know that.

"Mai, it's been horrible!" he suddenly said with high energy. He had to look away from me and I could feel his body tremble with something from inside; tears. "Ever since ya left everythin' has gone _wrong!_ Shizuka misses ya somethin' awful. As for me I've…I've barely picked up a duelin' card or gone out to hang with my friends like I usta. I missed ya too much but I never had da guts to call you or write to ya because I was afraid that ya didn't feel da same way. What if ya were successful here in America? I didn't want to take dat away, but…"

Jou finally looked back at me and brushed away the tears on my cheeks again. Then he did something that shocked me so deeply…he gave me a smile.

"…but I couldn't take it anymore. As soon as Shizuka recovered I had to come here. I _had_ to. Something was calling ta me. I didn't care anymore! I came all da way here ta tell ya these things. I came ta tell ya that I…I loved you. I still do…

"So, please, don't cry anymore, okay?"

Jounouchi…Jounouchi you amaze me…

Jou leaned far over and we kissed our very first kiss. It wasn't forceful or lustful at all. It was sweet and a little dorky, just like Jou. I put my hand behind his head and pulled him closer while ruffling his hair. I kept on crying, though, because I still didn't believe any of it was real. Yet, it was like being all nestled in his arms stole my pain away. The busted door, the dark prison cell of an apartment, the window to the lonely snow…it all dissolved away.

Instead, I got to see fireworks.

"Jou," I said as we parted lips, "may I never again be _far from you_."

-

"Excuse me? Is anyone there? Hello?"

"I'll be with you in one second!" I called back. A customer? At this hour? I was just about to close up! I've got a ride to catch you know and then dinner to worry about. Okay…that should be the last of the supply boxes. Storage duty really sucks. Too much laboring, but, hey, I get paid okay, so I suppose it's alright.

"Coming!" I yelled a little louder, just to make sure the guy was still there. I closed up the door to the storage room on my way out and walked through the little dinky hallway that connected the back of the shop to the main lobby and entrance. It was enough to cause claustrophobia it was so small, but that's okay. Like I said, it pays well. And besides, Jou is picking me up tonight to go out! I don't want to be late, so I'd better take care of this guy quick.

"Konnichiwa!" I greeted politely as I finally stepped out. "How may I help you?"

The elderly man looked at me a little dumbfounded. He flustered about in his coat pocket for something or other that seemed to elude him. Maybe it's his keys. His tall brown hat overshadowed his face as he became more and more frustrated.

"Uh, well, yes, okay," he took out a small, yellow manila folder. "Are you…uh…Kujaku-san?"

"Hai."

"Okay then, yes, this is yours," he handed the folder over to me. It was bound by a large orange rubber band and a silver paperclip. The old man tipped his hat off to me and smiled kindly.

"Good evening then," he said and left out the door with the bells overhanging on the glass. They gave a light chirp as the door moved and they met the warm wind that awaited them on a summer night. What was it now? July?

I opened the folder and recovered a letter and some documents from inside. The letter was addressed from Rick. I quickly read it first.

_Dear Mai Kujaku-san, (did I say that right? I'm terrible at Japanese!)_

_Hey! How's Japan? Helen and I are doing fine. I'm taking her out to see the fireworks this weekend. I'm sure she will love it; she still misses you a lot. She put a picture in the folder that she drew of you in here as a present. I hope you enjoy it!_

_Anyway, concerning the trial, Jorge's sentence arrangement was two weeks ago by the time this will reach you. Of the six or seven accusations, he's getting twenty-five years for all of them. He's also getting a ten year sentence after that for some involvement with five other men. I saw them at his sentence trial…I pray you never had to meet them (they looked quite fearful!). So, yes, he is in jail. You don't have to worry about that anymore._

_Helen and I will continue to pray for your happiness and wish to visit Japan someday and meet you and your boyfriend (what was his name again? John? Joey? Sorry, I'm so terrible with names). God Bless!!_

_ Rick and Helen_

The smile I wore was a joyous one. The trials were finally done. I looked through the documents attached to the letter. Some were from the trial I had to hang onto for legal reasons. The last was a white sheet of paper with a bright sun. There was a picture of some trees and a walkway from Central Park with Rick, Helen, and I in them all holding hands and smiling.

And, off to the other side of Helen, was the outstretched hand of her mother. Her face, a smiling face with green eyes and auburn hair, was looking down from heaven in the sky.

I heard the bells of the door again. I looked up to see Jounouchi with the car keys in his hand. The car; a present from the superstar Anzu who was living in Canada now. She called the other day, said she _and Yugi_ were going to move into America themselves and try and make it to the top. They live separately, but are with each other all the time. I've heard Yugi has bought the ring already. Maybe it's just a rumor…but I'd like to believe.

"Are ya ready?" Jou asked me. I tucked the letter and papers into my purse and walked over to Jounouchi with a wink and a kiss.

"Only if I drive!" I teased. I grabbed the keys out of Jou's hand and ran out of the door faster than he could catch me.

"Hey! No fair!" he called back. He locked the latch on the door and then ran after me down the street block. People stared, but I didn't care. Jou was catching up now, but I was still running free…freer than anything. I was _flying _down that block with wings.

And I was laughing all the way.

_P.S. Mai – be happy._

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A/N: Thank you for reading, I sincerely appreciate it, along with the kind reviews. Until we meet again, then! God bless!

_ Rem-sama_


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